Posted on 12/05/2025 5:33:00 AM PST by where's_the_Outrage?
Many companies claim to be modern and fair, yet some old habits still survive surprisingly well. One employee found out just how quickly things can escalate when she questioned a task she’d been quietly assigned for months.
Hello, Bright Side,
I’m 27F, a project engineer. My boss kept asking me to take notes at meetings with clients. I didn’t mind at first, until I noticed I was the only one he asked. When I finally refused, he smirked and said, “Women are best at it.” I reported him to HR.
The next day, I was heading to my desk when a coworker grabbed my arm and whispered, “He’s pissed. He’s been blaming you all morning.” I honestly felt sick walking to my workstation because I had no idea what he’d try next.
When I came up to my desk, I saw a small box sitting on it. Inside was a note. It said: “We both know you’ve overreacted. Let’s fix this between us.” There was also a Starbucks gift card for $10.
I immediately gave the box to HR. They asked if he’d contacted me outside of work (he hadn’t). They said the gift card was an attempt to influence an active investigation, which is against policy. He was suspended and then let go. I’m very glad HR took it seriously before things escalated.
But... am I wrong for not giving him a chance to talk privately before going to HR?
Mary
Hello, Mary,
Well, this line—"Women take better notes“—could be displayed right next to “You’re too emotional for leadership” and “We’re like a family here” in the Museum of Workplace Misconceptions.
1. The note-taking comment wasn’t harmless—it was a clear bias cue. Your boss didn’t say, “You take good notes.” He said, “Women are best at it.” That’s not a compliment. It’s a category error.
That smirk you mentioned? That’s the behavioral equivalent of someone saying, “I know exactly what I’m doing, and try me.”
2. The gift card wasn’t a peace offering—it was a policy violation. A $10 Starbucks card is many things:
A gesture of apology? A weak attempt at bribery? A liquid asset valued at precisely one latte and a cake pop? But what it is not is an appropriate response during an HR investigation.
In corporate compliance, even small gifts can be considered attempts to influence outcomes. There are entire HR training modules dedicated to this.
3. Giving him a “private conversation” first was never your job. Let’s imagine what a private talk would have looked like:
You: “Your comment was inappropriate.” Him: “Relax.” You: “I won’t take notes on command anymore.” Him: “You women are so sensitive.”
You heard your colleague, your boss spent the morning blaming you. He didn’t consider that he was wrong. Not a single second.
Going directly to HR was the only appropriate step.
So, are you wrong? No. Not even slightly. You handled this like someone who understands not only her rights, but also the psychological pattern of someone trying to test boundaries and save himself when caught.
Bright Side
And Mary isn’t the only one who’s faced this kind of pushback. When Gloria, a senior analyst, was told a leadership role was “too demanding for women,” she filed a report—and a few months later, she was the one sitting in her boss’s chair.
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We were working out in the AZ desert and had a doublewide for a conference room, all kinds of dirt and debris was tracked in. As I arrived early, made the coffee and started sweeping out the trailers. A few minutes later my personal secretary (who was/is a fantastic girl Friday) walked in and I make like to hand her the broom. She gave me a dirty look saying “You expect me to do that?”
I replied, “Either sweep or fly home.”
She shook her head and moved on, and I continued to sweep. My philosophy was what ever needed to be done, do it.
True enough, but don’t forget all the bitter divorced guy trope rage-bait content.
After all, when clicks is all that matters - all bait is good bait.
One thing I love about being retired: no longer having to deal with 20-something women. I couldn’t stand them in my 20’s and still can’t.
The boss’s correct response should have been, “Because I said so”. That’s it.
If he needed to go further, it would seem to be true to him that, “I trust you to take the best notes of anyone on the team.”
If there’s an aggressive negotiation that needs to occur, I might send the most physically imposing dude in.
Play everyone to their strengths. There is no sexism in that.
When I held staff meetings, we all took notes. And the last item on the agenda was verifying key points, action items, and next steps. If it didn't come up at the end of the meeting, it didn't happen.
All that’s missing in the article are the PowerPoint slides from the HR training module (that you can complete from your desk).
And the purpose of men is to be the sustainer of his community and supporter and spiritual leader of his family. Most of them don't do that, either.
These days most women are defective men and most men are defective women.
Lol.
These days most women are defective men and most men are defective women.
It’s a mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world.
Sounds correct. Article directly from AI derived clickbait feminist propaganda mill.
I can not and will not disagree with that thought.
The conclusion must be that we have to return to the basics of humanity as defined by Christianity.
I am married to a strong Type A woman who before retirement was a chief executive. I do not believe that women should not strive to achieve. I know that both roles can exist in the same person
My spouse is VP of HR for a Fortune 100 company.
Prior to this job she was a VP of HR within one of the Big 3 automakers.
Although this particular example may be fabricated, there are more egregious recent stories out there.
Examples I’ve heard in past year;
* A manager that only sent women to a specific required training course because the men were too busy.
* A director that refused to hire women and actively tried to move women out of his department.
* A manager that had too much to drink on a work trip and started hitting on a female that reported to him.
* A director that filed a reverse discrimination claim in HR that he was passed over for a job that went to a woman. The woman had more years of service, an advanced degree above his, and had higher evaluation scores.
And many more.
With millions of people out there, there are a lot these cases happen.
I agree in part with your conclusion that her boss shouldn't necessarily have been fired, but a lot is missing from the story. Maybe he had other defects and this was just the latest; maybe he became dismissive or combative with HR and things escalated. Barring those probabilities, they could have assigned him to soviet re-education or put him on probation. People of either sex who are that dumb in a professional workplace in 2025 are rarely able to pull up in time before letting their resentment overtake reason.
Workplaces are a pecking order. She was right not to accept being the "low man" on the totem pole because of sexual stereotyping.
“ I am always pleased when I see that my grocery or fast food order is being delivered by a woman. In our experience, women actually read and follow delivery instructions, figure out how to get into the building and find the elevator, etc. We’ve had a problem only once with a female; many times with the males.
Because the males refuse to ask for directions. ;)
women have destroyed the workplace ... and the USA ...
"Woman ruins man's life over minor sexist infraction that caused her a slight inconvenience."
And the revenge is applauded by the media, of course.
Good example of why men have no desire to have women at the workplace.
“Workplaces are a pecking order.”
That is correct.
The problem is the double standards—particularly in large organizations.
As a practical matter women are not held to the same standards as men. Men are expected to do the dirty and messy jobs without complaint.
Minorities are not held to the same standards as whites (or Asians). Whites (or Asians) are expected to solve the complex and stressful problems without complaints.
If you even discuss those issues you are done.
“Workplaces are a pecking order.”
That is correct.
The problem is the double standards—particularly in large organizations.
As a practical matter women are not held to the same standards as men. Men are expected to do the dirty and messy jobs without complaint.
Minorities are not held to the same standards as whites (or Asians). Whites (or Asians) are expected to solve the complex and stressful problems without complaints.
If you even discuss those issues you are done.
I agree in principle. I contend that ever since the introduction of "The Pill", both sexes have become like gay men.
At last! We agree completely!
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