Posted on 10/30/2025 1:11:35 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
GYEONGJU — Trade negotiations between the U.S. and China reached a much-needed breakthrough on Thursday, as Chinese President Xi Jinping agreed to drop all tariffs after President Donald Trump showed him how to use chopsticks to become a walrus.
The two heads of state came face-to-face at a high-stakes summit in South Korea to iron out the ongoing friction between the world's two largest economic powers. Insiders said the conversation remained tense until Trump showed Xi that he could turn himself into a walrus by using chopsticks as tusks.
"It's a great trick, everyone says so," Trump was overheard telling the Chinese leader. "I learned it back in the late 90s. I had dinner with Jackie Chan. Great guy. Lots of movies. Great with the martial arts. He showed me how to use chopsticks to become a walrus. I've never forgotten it. It's a much better use of the chopsticks, believe me. I don't like to eat with them. I'm much better with a fork. But when it comes to being a walrus, chopsticks are the way to go. Give it a try."
After successfully using his chopsticks to turn into a walrus, Xi agreed to move forward with efforts to build a strong trade agreement between the nations. "This will be a moment remembered throughout history," he reportedly told Trump. "I never imagined I could use a pair of chopsticks to become a walrus. There are many things our cultures can learn from each other. Let this be the beginning of a strong and fruitful relationship."
At publishing time, Xi had reportedly returned the favor by agreeing to print all of Trump's Truth Social posts on little slips of paper placed inside of fortune cookies.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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Lighten up! It’ll go a long way.
Trump kisses Xi’s ass to get them to buy the same amount of soybeans they would anyway and then gives them a big tariff cut. Trump pumps his had while grinning ear to ear. Xi did not even have to smile. Xi gains face. In the Asian mind this is winning big time.
“It’s a great trick, everyone says so,”
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lol
Using chop sticks that way in Japan will probably get you the death penalty. There is only one way to use them properly without disrespecting someone’s dead ancestors, and that isn’t it.
Seems about right.
If he's really good we can teach him this one too.
I have no doubt that the CCP propaganda broadcasts every fart from Xi as though it's a win for China. Here's how I see today's deal.
Xi is still dealing with a Trump America that no longer treats China with favored nation status. Now we impose a 10% tariff on Chinese goods (agreed on today) that's higher than we did before before Trump 45.
China today agreed to 10% (same link above) tariffs on American goods, which is admittedly higher than the 7.82% avg tariff they were charging in the pre-Trump years.
So American exporters are facing a 2-ish% increased tariffs on selling goods in China, while China is facing a much larger increase in tariffs on selling goods in the U.S. and no longer getting the favored nation kids glove treatment. While we're also bombing some of their drug transfers into the U.S. from Venezuela.
You can call all of that a win for Xi if you want. I call that a win for Trump by removing the recent teethy growl of China banning precious metals exports (they agreed to keep selling to us) while we're still hitting them harder than they are us.
Of course, heir leverage is....that Xi can change his mind at any moment and agreements mean nothing...but dealing with Trump this time around is just a tad different.
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