Posted on 10/27/2025 4:38:47 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
WORLD — Senator Rand Paul died tragically on Monday after heroically diving in front of an AGM-114 Hellfire missile fired by an MQ-1 Predator Drone before it could strike a Venezuelan drug boat.
According to sources, the U.S. Air Force was tracking a suspected Venezuelan drug shipment over international waters when it received explicit authorization from the president to take it out. But just before the missile could make contact with the drug boat, a man later identified as the senator from Kentucky somehow leaped hundreds of feet through the air, putting his body between a Hellfire missile and a drug boat full of cocaine and members of Cartel de los Soles.
"This is unconstitutional! They must have due process!" the senator said with his final breath before his body was blown to bits.
Military officials were stunned. "Whoa, where did he come from?" the drone pilot reportedly said. "He came out of nowhere!"
Senator Paul has consistently criticized President Trump's attacks on Venezuelan drug boats, arguing that Trump is using the military to attack them without sufficient evidence. "These strikes go against who we are as a country," Paul said weeks before his untimely death. "I don't support drug cartels, but I do support the Constitution of the United States."
"Constitution? What's a Constitution? That sounds gay," Trump reportedly said in response.
The senator is survived by fellow Libertarian Thomas Massie, who has promised to irritate Trump in Paul's stead.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Epic!!!
Just reading the headline on my log in page had me laughing my ass off.
Was the missile damaged?
BOOM!
When Rand Paul got beat up by his neighbor I felt sorry for him, but as he’s now trying to protect people smuggling tons of poison into our country I’m starting to understand his neighbor’s actions a little more. ;)
😂😂
What will the Paulistians do now that their Iman is no more?
H/T to MWT for my new word “Paulistinians”
Well, whoever he’s working for will be happy with him. I doubt it’s the people of Kentucky
Hahaha
Mitch, Rand and that idiot Massie. Ky needs to up their game.
He was heard to yell, “Due process!!!” Before the explosion.
If only this was true.
What a stud!
And in 2020, he and his wife were harassed and accosted by BLM as they were walking back to their hotel in Washington, D.C. He spent weeks appearing on news shows, talking about how "they feared for their lives."
In 2013, he spent 13 hours filibustering John Brennan's confirmation hearing. He spoke 13 hours about his fear of Obama using drones to attack Americans on this soil. Then in 2015 when he was running for President, and Obama killed four Americans during drone attacks overseas, two of which were hostages of Al Qaeda in Pakistan, he defended Obama for killing those Americans.
If the missile had hit his hair, it would have bounced off with all curls and gel he uses.
If you don't like them, stop being the posting police and just grow up and ignore them.
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[Page S2187] From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov] UNANIMOUS CONSENT REQUEST Mr. PAUL. Mr. President, no virus, not even a plague, should cause us to forget that our freedom is the result of resisting the concentration of power in the hands of a few. Recently, there has been dangerous talk of the President adjourning Congress. I am reminded of the long English battle to forbid the King from dissolving Parliament. In fact, Charles I lost his head partly because he insisted on dissolving Parliament. In those days, Parliament did not take Charles' royal power grab laying down. When Charles I dissolved Parliament in 1629, members took matters into their own hands and descended on the speaker, John Finch, and sat on him. Since he could not rise, the Parliament could not close. While he squirmed and was held down, Parliament passed several motions, condemning the King's power grab. Ultimately, the English Parliament would change the Constitution to forbid the King from dissolving Parliament. Now, I am not suggesting we hold the President of the Senate down and commandeer the Senate--though the idea has crossed my mind. Whatever path of resistance we take, talk of the administration adjourning or temporarily dissolving Congress should loudly be resisted as if the Republic depended on it. Perhaps more alarming than allowing a President threatening to dissolve Congress is that Congress currently has allowed itself to become more of an oligarchy than an assembly. A few Members of the leadership are set to pass legislation, spending nearly a half a trillion dollars, without any recorded vote or debate. Shouldn't someone shout stop? Shouldn't someone point out the terrible precedent of having a few Members speak for all the Members? I, for one, believe that if there exists too much danger to have Congress meet--and if there exists too much danger to have Congress meet in person, we should allow emergency voting remotely. In that vein, I offer the following resolution. I ask unanimous consent that the Senate proceed to the consideration of my resolution at the desk; I further ask that the resolution be agreed to, the preamble agreed to, and that the motions to reconsider be considered made and laid upon the table without any intervening action or debate. The ACTING PRESIDENT pro tempore. Is there objection? Mr. McCONNELL. I object. The ACTING PRESIDENT pro tempore. Objection is heard. The majority leader. ____________________
Paul made the comments on his way out of No Kings protest on his way to an invitation-only Wine tasting.
🤣🤣🤣
BB at its finest!!
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