Posted on 10/21/2025 3:19:22 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
SACRAMENTO, CA — In a historic move, California's famous black bears, in cooperation with the NAACP, met on the steps of the state capitol to demand that they now be referred to as "Bears of Color."
"For too long our people have suffered with this outdated and harmful epitaph," a spokesbear told reporters gathered at a press conference. "This is not the name we chose for ourselves. We demand to be called Bears of Color from now on."
Gathered members of the press looked on in confusion as a coalition of bears took turns at the microphone, explaining their new position.
"We will not be called by YOUR words for us," another bear said. "We come from a vast, diverse heritage, and we need a name that reflects that history. Call us Bears of Color, or we'll eat you. You decide."
Reporters admitted that they had a hard time understanding the noises coming out of the bear's mouth, as none of them spoke bear, but they thought they understood the gist of the announcement.
"A lot of arm waving, lots of growling, but I think I got the main idea," reporter Sam Sanders said. "I don't really know why any of it matters, but they seemed really fired up about it, so I guess we'll make sure to call them Bears of Color from here on out. That might get a little confusing when reporting bear attacks, though."
At publishing time, the bears announced that they were launching a campaign for media depictions of bears to include more bears of color.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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How about grizzlies? Will they be now called Bears of Grizzle?
Not to mention Bears of Polar!
Polar bears will be left out.
Brown Bears are also Bears of Color.
Not African-American bears?
Black Bear Lives Matter.
I think a big old rough, tough ‘’grizzer’’ bear should be called what ever it prefers.
Last night the cat told the wife and I she didn’t want to be called a cat anymore.
Said from now on she wanted to be known as a “Feline American’’.
Dindoo Nuffin bears...
What the heck to we call a panda? They are black and white.
Bear of Monochrome?
Ran into one on the Ouchita. East side. Really. Just a pain in the ass. We cannot shoot them.They can fnxk up some things.
They a t e nto some ETX.
The Pooh Bear is the moat superior Bear.
They don't matter... In fact, they've enjoyed polar privilege for so many years now that we should shun them at every turn. It's ridiculous that they can't even see the amount of privilege they enjoy...
Will it be a petition just for polar bears or for all wild animals in general?
I’m sorry, but the bears failed to give a land acknowledgement, so I don’t feel sorry for them. I’m sure they colonized some other bear of color’s salmon stream.
Watch out for bipolar bears. Unpredictable. Manic, they can be lots of fun, but depressive? Run for the igloo, or whatever they have in Antarctica.
BCBiPOC
it matters. watch now as they are given preferential college admissions, financial aid galore, and degrees without meaning.
also if you were thinking of applying for any employment and aren’t a Bear of Colour.....forget it!
/s
“Is it them again, Yogi?”
“No, it’s US, Booboo.”
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