Posted on 10/08/2025 4:54:52 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
SAN FRANCISCO - The National Guard has been called to California's Golden City to neutralize a 600-foot-tall Katie Porter, who is apparently rampaging her way through San Francisco.
Porter, a frontrunner in California's gubernatorial race, reportedly began roaring and growing to an unusual size after a reporter asked her a question.
"You didn't ask her a question, did you? Oh no! She hates that!" cried Mayor Daniel Lurie as the hulking monstrosity smashed a giant hole in the the Transatlantic tower. "There's no stopping her now! Run! Run for your lives!"
"BLLAAAAWWWRRRGGHHHHH!" responded Porter before swallowing a cable car. "KATIE MAAAD! KATIE SMAAAAASH!"
Sources say the problems began a few days ago, when a journalist asked her a question about how she planned to win over voters. Porter responded by screeching like a Nazgûl and growing several feet. Then later, a child asked Porter if she knew where the bathroom was, causing her to completely lose her mind and expand to a hulking 600-foot monster.
"KATIE NO LIKE QUESTIONS!" roared Katie. "BRAAWWWWWWRRRR!"
At time of publishing, Porter was seen swatting National Guard helicopters out of the sky and was still polling in 1st place for California Governor.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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Same pig that physically attacked her ex husband. Violent POS and odds on favorite to be the next CA Governor
She must be a Democrat.
she’ll be 600 pounds before she’s 600 feet
thx. needed a portzilla sized laugh.
600 pounds.
Sorry for being dense, but where’s the satire? Isn’t this why Trump is calling in the National Guard?
;-)
With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound
She pulls the spitting high tension wires down
Helpless people on a subway train
Scream bug-eyed as she looks in on them
Se picks up a bus and she throws it back down
As she wades through the buildings toward the center of town
Oh no, they say, she’s got to go
Go go Godzilla, yeah
Oh no, there goes SFO
Go go Godzilla, yeah
- Porter touted the Biden administration’s ambitious climate agenda and promoted electric vehicles, the then-congresswoman also complained to Granholm that she had not visited the White House despite raising a “shit ton” of money for President Joe Biden.
“Never been there. Some of my colleagues (have been) three, four times,” Porter vented. “I don’t fit in the photo-op for some reason.” -
1. Caucasian
2. Heterosexual (had husband)
3. Dissed the usurper regime
And you can tell she totally wants to talk to the manager.
Katie Porker is another Kali Commie. If she is elected to governor she will probably finish destroying the state.
600 pounds
She's a real bully and also a bully of the crudest kind. They are not admired or respected...rather, they are just tolerated.
The US workplace is populated wall-to-wall with these types. And, she IS a type, NOT an individual!
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