7 Radical Ideas To Make Our Cities Safer

The Bee ^ | Sep 10, 2025 | The Bee

[dayglored]

With violent crime continuing to plague American cities, the time has come for truly radical measures. Here are seven ideas for extreme changes to make our cities safer:

1. Have highly trained guys with guns patrol dangerous parts of the city to protect innocent people: They could even wear like a badge so people know who they are.

2. Take the violent people you arrest and keep them in some sort of building away from other people: It's crazy, but it just might work.

3. If someone gets arrested a dozen times, they actually have to stay in the building away from people: Extreme, we know.

4. Get a billionaire orphan whose parents were killed by a criminal to dress up in a cool outfit and protect the city: Brilliant.

5. Appoint judges who have passed some kind of exam to prove that they know about the laws: Revolutionary idea.

6. If someone stops a violent criminal, don't arrest that person: Whoa. Total game-changer.

7. Bring back the gallows: Now we're talking.

Drastic times call for drastic measures.

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TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; humor; radicalideas; safercities; satire

[dayglored]

RADICAL IDEAS!!

[MarlonRando]

and send the trannies to Alligator Alcatraz

[albie]

Another great BB! This one being real.

[mjp]

Install Giant Hamster Wheels for Speeders: Instead of issuing speeding tickets, let’s set up massive hamster wheels on city streets. If you’re caught speeding, you have to run on the wheel for an hour to power streetlights. It’s eco-friendly, a great workout, and a hilarious deterrent—picture a tough guy panting, “I’ll never speed again!” while powering the grid.

Implement a Mandatory Karaoke Curfew: Enforce a curfew where everyone must be off the streets unless they’re singing karaoke at designated outdoor booths. Criminals will be too busy belting out “Sweet Caroline” to cause trouble, and the off-key serenades will scare off any would-be wrongdoers. “Bum bum bum” your way to safety!

[Sir Bangaz Cracka]

May I suggest keeping criminals behind bars could help a wee bit.

[dayglored]

Those are both great ideas!

[SuperLuminal]

#1: Empty NYC, LA, Chicago, Minneapolis, Philadelphia, and Atlanta, and populate areas like Death Valley, Uganda, and South Africa...

[heavy metal]

8) fight crime... shoot back...

[Secret Agent Man]

On board except for 1. Regular citizens arent cops and dont have either powers or protections cops have to do their jobs. Its not a good idea, no regular armed carry person wants to fire their gun, it can very well cost them their freedom. Further lawyers would have a field day framing them as vigilantes and looking for an excuse to shoot someone, probably a minority (to play the race card too).

[NorthMountain]

no regular armed carry person wants to fire their gun, it can very well cost them their freedom.

We need to quit nitpicking and prosecuting Citizens who "take out the trash". That requires our public servants to change their ways.

We the People need to commit, as jurors, to never convicting our fellow Citizens who "take out the trash".

[metmom]

Very real.

And great ideas.

[metmom]

4. Get a billionaire orphan whose parents were killed by a criminal to dress up in a cool outfit and protect the city: Brilliant.

OK. This one has me stumped. Who are they referring to?

[metmom]

Um, they’re referring to the police.

[Gay State Conservative]

Rudy showed how to do it in NYC...and DJT just showed us how to do it in DC. It’s not rocket science...it just takes common sense.

[dayglored]

> 4. Get a billionaire orphan whose parents were killed by a criminal to dress up in a cool outfit and protect the city: Brilliant. OK. This one has me stumped. Who are they referring to?

Pretty sure it's Batman.

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

Bring back the gallows and the whipping post.

[ConjunctionJunction]

Caning seems to work pretty well in Singapore.

[Secret Agent Man]

I reread and see that now, I missed the sarcasm on that one...

[subterfuge]

So nothing about public torture..ok.

[metmom]

I’ve done the same, sometimes as I’m hitting the post button and can’t stop my finger in time, other times when I go back and read it.