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Install Giant Hamster Wheels for Speeders: Instead of issuing speeding tickets, let’s set up massive hamster wheels on city streets. If you’re caught speeding, you have to run on the wheel for an hour to power streetlights. It’s eco-friendly, a great workout, and a hilarious deterrent—picture a tough guy panting, “I’ll never speed again!” while powering the grid.

Implement a Mandatory Karaoke Curfew: Enforce a curfew where everyone must be off the streets unless they’re singing karaoke at designated outdoor booths. Criminals will be too busy belting out “Sweet Caroline” to cause trouble, and the off-key serenades will scare off any would-be wrongdoers. “Bum bum bum” your way to safety!