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11 New Artifacts Trump Ordered The Smithsonian To Display
The Bee ^
| Aug 15, 2025
| The Bee
Posted on 08/15/2025 4:08:31 PM PDT by dayglored
In addition to ordering a comprehensive review of the Smithsonian museums to root out "wokeness," President Donald Trump has reportedly provided the institutions with a list of new items to display instead.
The Babylon Bee has obtained an exclusive copy of the list of artifacts Trump wants preserved and displayed for their historical significance:
- The gold Trump statue from CPAC 2021: Every bit as culturally significant as a giant Olmec head.
- A rare laserdisc copy of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York: Featuring an extended, director's cut version of Trump's cameo.
- A display of the Obama years titled "The Dark Ages": To show how far America has come since its time under Communist rule.
- The bullet that pierced his ear: A sacred relic that promises to attract many pilgrims.
- A bottle of Crystal Pepsi: A relic of a long-forgotten, ancient time.
- A perfectly preserved extinct straight white male: Many years ago,America used to be filled with them.
- A Rubik's Cube he was never able to solve: Trump has described it as "Unsolveable. No one can do it. People think they can, but they can't. It's tremendous."
- A pair of Sydney Sweeney's American Eagle jeans: They're great.
- A "Haters & Losers" exhibit: Designed to constantly be expanded.
- A wall dedicated to his many tweets: The highlight of which is a large printout of the infamous "covefe" tweet.
- Joe Biden: A great way to spend his twilight years. Word has it he comes to life at night when the museum closes.
A new Smithsonian for America's New Golden Age. What else should be included?
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: artifacts; babylonbee; humor; nevertrumping; satire; smithsonian; trump
B-b-b-but I thought it was "covfefe"...
1
posted on
08/15/2025 4:08:31 PM PDT
by
dayglored
To: dayglored
To: dayglored
A pair of Sydney Sweeney's American Eagle jeans:
Would have also displayed her underwear...but she wasn't wearing any. :-)
To: dayglored
4
posted on
08/15/2025 4:54:52 PM PDT
by
DoodleBob
(Gravity's waiting period is about 9.8 m/s²)
To: dayglored
A Rubik's Cube he was never able to solve
Chuck Norris could solve it...just by looking at it.
To: know.your.why
>
Would have also displayed her underwear...but she wasn't wearing any. :-) Geez, now I need to logout and take a shower.
Cold.
6
posted on
08/15/2025 6:11:08 PM PDT
by
dayglored
(This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
To: dayglored
This one didn’t do much for me.
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