"Bird's good, bird's good."
Posted on 04/08/2025 3:22:49 PM PDT by simpson96
A 50-year-old man has appeared in court after being charged as a “chicken thief.”
A Port Orchard, Washington man allegedly violated an order of protection by breaking into his ex-girlfriend’s house and then stealing her chicken, according to authorities in Washington’s Kitsap County.
The call for help came in the early morning of March 29 from a woman who said her former boyfriend invaded her home and snatched her pet chicken, named Polly.
He allegedly screamed, “I’ve got Polly” several times before running away – chicken in hand.
After a brief but intense search, authorities found the man hiding in the woods.
Bodycam footage shows the man hiding in bushes as police approached him at gunpoint.
He can be heard yelling, “Don’t hurt my chicken!” as a deputy quickly reassures him, “I won’t hurt your chicken.”
Responding deputies allowed the man to place Polly safely in a patrol vehicle before taking him into custody and charging him with residential burglary and violating an order of protection.
County jail records show that the man had only been released from custody less than three hours before the incident, the sheriff’s office said.
According to Kitsap Daily News he faces a maximum of 10 years in prison, a $12,747.20 for burglary, and a year and $3186.80 in fines for violating a court order.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
Maybe he got tired of her telling him to quit choking his chicken. (Tasteless, I know)
I hope he didn’t choke her. If he’s sick enough to kidnap a chicken, then he’s sick.....
oh you figure it out.
A certain line from a certain movie directed by a certain Zombie spoken by Ken Foree comes to mind.
After all that excitement, I bet Polly wanted a cracker.
I've done a lot of things in my life, but I've never run away with someone else's chicken in my hand.
Gee. If I had a dollar for every time I've also yelled “Don’t hurt my chicken!”....
And with Darren’s help, we’ll get that chicken 🐔!
No bull,
My chickens are free range.
Just recently we had a little station wagon thing come racing up in front of our house.
The vehicle was full and everyone jumped out like it was some sort of commando raid. They were trying to kidnap my chickens! It looked like it was rehearsed!
When the first one was captured I ran out and yelled “What (#*&$&(*&*#)$)(*#)* are you doing to my chickens!”
Three chicknappers ran directly to the vehicle as fast as they could as I approached. The one that caught a chicken dropped it and yelled, “We thought they were lost!” as he fled to the last open door.
They were just lucky I wasnt a bit younger.
And the police now chase after chicken?? How stupid is that.
Having lived in WA state for over 22 years,
I can really see this happening in Port Orchard.
I lived in North Bend, kept a sailboat in
Bremerton and the one place I stayed out of was Port Orchard.
Favorite Marina in the state, all things being equal?
John Wayne Marina in Sequim.
but watch the tides!
It is very common for ex-boyfriends to kidnap and hurt the pets of their former partners. How do I know this? I once found a lost cat. I called local vets and put up notices. I received at least 5 calls from women whose exes had kidnapped their pets and wouldn’t return them. One told the woman he had dropped the pet in a bad part of the city. Others said they had done other kinds of harm to them.
All your story needs is that the perps were all midgets. Then it would make prefect sense. Chasing your chickens with their little sausage fingers.
"Bird's good, bird's good."
No chickens were plucked, boiled, fried or fricasseed in pursuit of this criminal.
Good thing it was just her chicken that he grabbed. Imagine the press coverage if he grabbed her pussy!
(Yes, I know. Truly tasteless.)
I saw the video. I couldn’t tell if he was drunk, stoned or just crazy.
First they came for the chickens, and I did not speak out—because I was not a hen. · Then they came for the
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