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EXCLUSIVE: Read the Frantic Memo Eric Holder Sent Clients After Trump Declared War on DEI [satire]
Washington Free Beacon ^ | January 24, 2025 | Andrew Stiles

Posted on 01/26/2025 7:31:11 AM PST by SunkenCiv

...Cease race-based hiring practices that classify Asians, non-Latinx identifying Hispanics, and Native Americans who voted for Donald Trump as "privileged whites."

Cease bulk purchases of the bestselling memoir, Our Unfinished March: The Violent Past and Imperiled Future of the Vote: A History, a Crisis, a Plan, by Eric H. Holder Jr.

Cease all payments to Alfred C. Sharpton Jr. and the National Action Network for "strategic diversity consulting."

Cease all contact with Hamas freedom fighters and their affiliated "Islamophobia consultants."

...Cease all DEI-related employee monitoring regimes including but not limited to "gayness" rankings, financial audits (to assess support for Black-owned businesses), and "Hardship Olympics."

...Cease all DEI-related team-building exercises including but not limited to "Evade Inequity" dodgeball tournaments, "Race War" cosplay fight clubs, and "White Slave Fridays."

...Note: By reading this memo you have authorized Eric H. Holder Jr. and Covington & Burling LLP to charge your company for legal services rendered. Please wire the full amount ($21,595) to account GB54CITI18500808924309, Cayman National Bank.

(Excerpt) Read more at freebeacon.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andrewstiles; ericholder
'Eric Holder' search results:


1 posted on 01/26/2025 7:31:11 AM PST by SunkenCiv
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To: SunkenCiv

Fake but tru


2 posted on 01/26/2025 7:39:29 AM PST by TheThirdRuffian (Orange is the new brown)
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To: SunkenCiv
"Shred and burn all documents bearing the name of "Eric H. Holder Jr." and the "Covington & Burling" law firm."

That right there should be a legal basis for issuing a "hold".

3 posted on 01/26/2025 7:40:17 AM PST by Tench_Coxe (The woke were surprised by the reaction to the Bud Light fiasco. May there be many more surprises)
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To: Tench_Coxe

Sorry. Missed the satire note.


4 posted on 01/26/2025 7:41:15 AM PST by Tench_Coxe (The woke were surprised by the reaction to the Bud Light fiasco. May there be many more surprises)
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To: SunkenCiv

I especially liked the recommendation that his clients “Flee the country”. Satire or not.


5 posted on 01/26/2025 8:28:11 AM PST by Brooklyn Attitude (The same people who are outraged at "cultural appropriation" fully support "gender appropriation".)
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

They should flee to Colombia where they’d get dignified treatment. /rimshot


6 posted on 01/26/2025 8:31:35 AM PST by SunkenCiv (Putin should skip ahead to where he kills himself in the bunker.)
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To: Tench_Coxe

I’ve done that. :^)


7 posted on 01/26/2025 8:32:13 AM PST by SunkenCiv (Putin should skip ahead to where he kills himself in the bunker.)
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