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Obama To Divorce Michelle After Discovering She’s Actually A Woman
The Bee ^
| Jan 16, 2025
| The Bee
Posted on 01/17/2025 8:39:27 AM PST by dayglored
MARTHA'S VINEYARD — According to sources, Barack Obama has filed for divorce from his wife Michelle after discovering she is actually a woman.
"I've been wrong...so wrong," the former president confessed to a few close friends soon after his realization. "I mean, it's a little embarrassing to realize that I've been thinking Michelle's name was 'Michael' this whole time, but what's worse is that she's not actually one of the ga — excuse me, one of the guys, like us. I can't believe I actually fell for a woman."
Reports from the Obama household had previously indicated that the pair were experiencing some conflicts, but the new revelation has brought matters to a head.
"And all this time, I thought Michelle was just like me," Barack Obama complained bitterly. "Just...like...me. Ugh."
While the couple have shared intensely similar views on life, politics, and Kwanzaa traditions for over 30 years, Barack Obama has remained resolute in his decision to divorce Michelle Obama for her "irreconcilable differences."
At publishing time, Barack Obama had texted Tim Walz and Doug Emhoff to see if either of them was interested in coming over to his mansion "for a few drinks and just chillin'."
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; bigmike; divorce; joanriverswasright; michelle; obama; obamanation; satire
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YES! The Bee "went there"!
1
posted on
01/17/2025 8:39:27 AM PST
by
dayglored
To: dayglored
>
"I mean, it's a little embarrassing to realize that I've been thinking Michelle's name was 'Michael' this whole time,..." LOL, we knew it all along....
2
posted on
01/17/2025 8:41:23 AM PST
by
dayglored
(This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
To: dayglored
Barack Obama had texted Tim Walz and Doug Emhoff to see if either of them was interested in coming over to his mansion "for a few drinks and just chillin'."Mayor Pete is interested.
3
posted on
01/17/2025 8:42:09 AM PST
by
1Old Pro
To: dayglored
LOL I can’t believe the Bee said what we’ve all been thinking.
4
posted on
01/17/2025 8:43:08 AM PST
by
RoosterRedux
("There's nothing so inert as a closed mind" )
To: dayglored
5
posted on
01/17/2025 8:43:49 AM PST
by
dayglored
(This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
To: dayglored
To: dayglored
Funniest thing I’ve read all day. Thanks!
7
posted on
01/17/2025 8:47:17 AM PST
by
paulcissa
(Politicians want you disarmed because they intend on doing things you would shoot them for.)
To: dayglored
Hold on Barry...take another look.
8
posted on
01/17/2025 8:47:41 AM PST
by
MNDude
To: dayglored
power couple loses power
clintons next
when graft and potential exposure is the reason for the nuptual, you find sham marriages and staying in office until you go all rigor mortis.
3 days
To: dayglored
10
posted on
01/17/2025 8:51:03 AM PST
by
Brooklyn Attitude
(The same people who are outraged at "cultural appropriation" fully support "gender appropriation".)
To: dayglored
LOL!!! I never saw this one coming.
11
posted on
01/17/2025 8:52:03 AM PST
by
fwdude
(Why is there a "far/radical right," but damned if they'll admit that there is a far/radical left?)
To: 1Old Pro
“Mayor Pete is interested.”
So is Rachel Levine.
12
posted on
01/17/2025 8:55:09 AM PST
by
EQAndyBuzz
(Drill Baby Drill!)
To: dayglored
13
posted on
01/17/2025 8:56:19 AM PST
by
subterfuge
(I'm a pure-blood!)
To: dayglored
14
posted on
01/17/2025 8:58:17 AM PST
by
HereInTheHeartland
(Have you seen Joe Biden's picture on a milk carton?)
To: dayglored
15
posted on
01/17/2025 9:11:05 AM PST
by
rlmorel
("A people that elect corrupt politicians are not victims...but accomplices." George Orwell)
To: WeaslesRippedMyFlesh
I almost thought your post was a Haiku! Gives me ideas, as I am a limerick devotee!
16
posted on
01/17/2025 9:12:02 AM PST
by
rlmorel
("A people that elect corrupt politicians are not victims...but accomplices." George Orwell)
To: dayglored
17
posted on
01/17/2025 9:18:17 AM PST
by
chuckb87
To: dayglored
18
posted on
01/17/2025 9:26:24 AM PST
by
x
To: dayglored
19
posted on
01/17/2025 9:26:43 AM PST
by
SaxxonWoods
(Black guy upon receiving a MAGA hat: "MURICA!")
To: dayglored
20
posted on
01/17/2025 9:28:48 AM PST
by
ducttape45
(Jeremiah 17:9, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?")
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