Posted on 12/06/2024 10:36:35 AM PST by dayglored
U.S. — In what sources described as a "cruel" step to reduce waste of taxpayer funding at all levels, the Department of Government Efficiency has announced plans to force government offices to use only single-ply toilet paper.
The department headed up by Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy took a hardline stance against government inefficiency, setting its sights on eliminating wasteful spending wherever it is found, including millions of bathroom stalls in federal buildings nationwide.
"Any government facility that believes it is worthy of two-play toilet paper must show cause," Ramaswamy said in a post on his X account. "The federal government has become bloated and horribly inefficient, which is why we're cutting costs in every way we can. If you can't take care of your business with single-ply toilet paper, you can't be trusted to take care of business for the American people."
Federal employees expressed outrage. "Single-ply? This is too far," said one government worker who asked to remain anonymous. "Have you ever tried to use single-ply toilet paper? It's disgusting. These people from DOGE are just trying to come up with new ways to be mean. Whatever money they save by forcing us to use single-ply toilet paper they're going to end up spending more on soap and hand sanitizer, because… well… it's going to be gross."
At publishing time, Musk reiterated that the switch would be non-negotiable. "Anyone working on behalf of the American public must be willing to get their hands dirty," he said. "In more ways than one."
Nah! Bring your own from home. If you remember where the office is.
Remember that liberal Sheryl Crow campaigned on the “one square” of TP save the environment idea!!!
Corn cobs would be better.
The "elites" will demand bidets.
Somehow the Department of Agriculture would turn that into a ten billion dollar subsidy for Iowa like ethanol fuel.
Yeah but you have to use twice as much!. I think they should have to BYOTP. After all, it’s gotta be pretty expensive delivering TP to all those employee’s apartments!
I thought that was Jane Fonda and two squares, but yeah. Same nonsense.
It’s also better for Mother Earth. Fewer trees too cut down.
There is a restaurant near me that only stocks single ply TP I haven’t been back in years. The employee use the same bathrooms. Double up non negotiable.
So, military grade tp then, eh?
For the Department of Education, make that single-ply 16-grit sandpaper.
In Japan it’s expected to keep and use your own paper towel or hand towel. You use it, fold it carefully and place it back into your pocket. (In the workplace).
Eewww.
Where’s that actress that uses one sheet the little square per wipe ,LOL
I propose half ply!
No sh1t!
Remove the bathrooms and put Porta Potties outside
most of the bureaucrapppy stinks anyway
Exactly, bring your own. Women have a purse the size of a valise. Put your own in there, along with your hair spray, weaves, mascara, lipstick, keys, wallet, address book and the other endless crap. BRING YOUR OWN, take up a collection and buy 2 30 packs from Costco every month.
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