Posted on 10/16/2023 3:25:32 PM PDT by Albion Wilde
KEY POINTS
• Childhood verbal abuse (CVA) is currently categorized under the broad umbrella of “emotional abuse.”
• Along with four other child maltreatment subtypes, CVA should be a stand-alone child maltreatment subtype.
• Recognizing and defining specific types of CVA is a starting point for preventing it.
• A recent systematic review and meta-analysis identifies at least 22 unique types of childhood verbal abuse.
In my opinion, the list of unique types of verbal abuse omitted one important one: lying, or malicious untruthfulness to children. I'm thinking here of the spiteful ex-wives who destroy the father's reputation in the kids' eyes, and not just stuff like saying there's an Easter bunny.
(Excerpt) Read more at psychologytoday.com ...
LOL! A classic ‘Dad’ response!
My kids learned early not to tell me they were ‘bored.’ We kept a ‘Job Jar’ handy with strips of paper with a chore written on it and the amount we’d pay for that chore to be done - to MY standards.
Funny - when they got to be teens and wanted to ‘buy stuff’ that ‘Job Jar’ became incredibly popular ;)
:)
In my family, the fear of, ‘Dad’s Wrath’ was always worse than the actual wrath itself. Kept us in line.
I could not be more in agreement with you (and thank your for your kind words)
I have very strong feelings on this, and while I admit that in these later years of my life, I have far less respect for teachers than I used to. (although, one of the topics I plan to write about at some point is teachers in my life, and those who had an indelible effect on me, many good, but I a few were quite bad)
But even with that, I do feel sympathy for many teachers today, because they are handcuffed. When you and I were kids (and I hope you will forgive me for taking the liberty to say this) if we misbehaved at school, the dread at what awaited us at home when our parents discovered our misbehavior was far more discomfiting than even the paddling we might get at school. I got paddled twice in some crucial years for me!
But today, you not only cannot use corporal punishment, you cannot use even verbal punishment, which probably wouldn’t have an effect on some of the young demons who inhabit schools at all levels today. If you did, you could end up fired, in jail, in a YouTube video, or all three. And you could expect no support from most parents, who certainly wouldn’t view any of it as a reflection on their effectiveness as parents.
I simply cannot imagine being a teacher today, which saddens me, though I gather you would know far more about this than I would.
There is an additional aspect of it which I regard as even more disturbing-the fact that all kids fully understand this dynamic, and are even willing to exploit it. This is not new, either, and became evident decades ago.
My mother could be tough. She could be irrational. She wasn’t always right or fair. And she absolutely, 100% didn’t brook any insolence.
Once, when my brother and his family (two boys) were living in an in-law apartment on my parent’s house, my brother had grabbed his misbehaving eight year old sone by the bicep and yanked him close to reprimand him.
Whe he did, his son said “That’s child abuse.”
When my brother related this to my mother, the next time she saw my nephew, she went up, grabbed him by the arm, pulled him close and hissed menacingly in his ear:
“If I ever hear you say anything about “child abuse” like that again, I am going to show you what REAL child abuse is!”
He never pulled that again.
You had to know my mother-that was her, completely. She did have a terrifying bent to her when she got angry and we feared her discipline when we were kids as I described in my post above. It was funny when I heard this anecdote, because I could just imagine my nephew’s eyes bugging out of his head when confronted with this apparition that had been his loving grandmother!
“In a Christian home, none of those tactics should be seen except maybe scolding and shaming.”
Dad was a preacher, and he was so mean in every way that I still haven’t cried about his death, which was in 2008. I understand that his father also was abusive to his kids. Our generation has broken the cycle.
James 3
5 Even so the tongue is indeed a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold how small a fire kindleth a great wood.
6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is placed among our members, which defileth the whole body, and inflameth the wheel of our nativity, being set on fire by hell.
I know a mom that had 7 kids. She did not scream in fact did very opposite. She would talk in a very small whisper so they had to listen very hard to hear her. How she pulled that one off I’ll never know.
“What a retarded little woke article that is. What’s next, kid takes a honking crap in the middle of the living room carpet and the parents should only be allowed to say, “Gosh, Johnny, I hope next time you can make it to the bathroom”??”
If your kid takes a crap in the middle of the living room 9 times out of ten he is retarded. What can I say? Normal kids just don’t do that. Put some diapers on him and go on with life.
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Out hot water came off the oil burner. With 4 teens they would take all day showers if they could. When I was home I would flip the burner off after 10 minutes.
Never said I did. Probably scarred them for life. Really don’t care.
Well done! Congratulations, and continued happiness, higgmeister!
Good for you. You realize I said those tactics SHOULDN’T be seen in a Christian home. All Christians SHOULD go by the Ephesians 6 passage that says: “And you fathers: provoke not your children unto wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Sorry about your father’s shortcomings. Glad you are breaking the cycle in your generation.
LOL!! Good one!
My grandmother knew those things back a hundred years ago.
You are most fortunate! To quote a dear departed friend of mine, "Sh*t rolls downhill." He was referring to child abuse. And wise parenting does also. I see it in so many of the families I've known over the years, the effects over generations of the good and the bad.
That is hilarious — now! God bless your mom!
I am so sorry. This is a terrible treason against the Lord, to use religion as a weapon of punishment. May God bless and heal you.
Amen to that, Morgana. And I thank you for the diligent work you have been doing to help others become aware of actual child abuse in this nation.
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. —Colossians 3:21
Correct; women as well as men commit verbal abuse of children. In every type of community.
Many readers can’t be persuaded that grown ups beating little people with belts isn’t the highest form of morality. If I describe the things I suffered as a child, they respond like the communists do, the belt just wasn’t used properly. Then they say I was too sensitive complaining about hospital visits.
I was put in the hospital with “asthma” so many times that a marine corps doctor finally investigated my recurring hospital stays.” My father was a decorated marine with similar character defects as other men sent to those awful wars. He was an outstanding marine. The very best. I still miss him.
On one occasion at age five, I woke up to find a general at my bedside, The base didn’t have one. He was a provost marshal. My father never hit me again.
This isn’t generational……most kids were not abused.
…..
LOL! That's just common sense!
Reminds me of something friend told me when I lived in a big-city working class neighborhood. She was in the room with her very ill mother when a priest came to visit. The mother wanted to confess before she died.
She said to the priest, "Father, sometimes I stole money."
The priest said, "Where did you steal money?"
She said, "From my husband's pants."
The priest laughed and said, "That's not stealing!"
* * *
True story.
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