Posted on 08/15/2023 7:18:03 AM PDT by Jewbacca
My daughter is marrying in England, rather a bit above our station, and Mrs. Jewbacca I need help on how to write the wedding invitation.
My daughter matched (and mutually liked) with a great kid (man) in England. All agree they are rather wonderful together.
His parents are a bit high born compared to this redneck Israeli family.
We are tasked with ordering wedding invitations, and, while the mother of the groom will approve the invitation and (undoubtedly notice) errors, she is so polite and proper, she may think it rude to tell us we've messed up. We'd like to give it a college try before we ask.
Here is the quandary:
Daughter is doctor and Captain in IDF. Son in law is doctor and Captain in IDF, plus a future baron (yes, seriously)
I am a colonel. Mrs. Jewbacca is an MD.
Dad-of-groom is a (retired) Col in the Royal Marines, a hereditary Baron in England, and a Commander of the Order of the British Empire, which is an earned honor for military service (CME)
Mom-of-groom is apparently a generic "Lady" and an MD
I think Mrs. Jewbacca and I are easy, except for her MD. If she was not a doctor, it would be:
Miriam and Col. Jacob Schmidt
Not sure where (or if) to put her MD. We'd leave it off in Israel.
Daughter is easy:
Captain Sarah Schmidt, MD
Son-in-law is (we've been told and saw on a different announcement for him):
Lord Captain Jacob Smith, MD
In-Laws get tricky:
Lady Mary (MD?) and Baron Colonel John Smith CBE (no comma)
Anyone have a clue? Being informal is not an option.
I have no idea but isn’t this the kind of thing people interested in this kind of thing hire wedding planners for? Might be the way to go, just a suggestion...
Well, yes, and we’ve gotten three conflicting answers.
Easy answer is to ask them how they’d like to be referred to, rather than guessing, is my guess..
Wedding invitation templates are a dime a dozen all over the web.
“My daughter is marrying in England, rather a bit above our station, “
What is a station? Is this a caste system? Or some kind of Euro style nobles and commoners thing?
Ah, but they are unfailingly polite and won’t presume to tell us how to do it.
We’ll eventually ask, but, again, I’d like to start most formal and let them be the ones to chop it down.
Sounds like a good reason to sit down with your daughter’s future in-laws and work it out with their advice. Just because you are “ responsible” for the announcements ( ie, paying and distributing) doesn’t mean you have to decide on the wording. To meet the social norms of both families, make this a joint effort. Plus they need to advise you on where and when this union should be shared on what media.
If it were me, GD32’s response would be my go to.
I would be respectful, but very open with the future in-laws. The future son in law would likely know as well.
Just curious...it is common to have a Baron be jewish? I thought the aristocracy was “touchy” about that.
Let me put it this way. I’m a pilot and have a plane and fly really fast planes for a living.
They have a butler that engages with their pilots.
Seriously: I would do more than simply "coordinate" this with the groom's parents. Rather, I would arrange for a Zoom meeting and work out the exact wordage with them.
Bear in mind that the individual recipients' titles, styles, and honorifics, too, will have to be taken into account.
Your obt. servant,
“Just curious...it is common to have a Baron be jewish? I thought the aristocracy was “touchy” about that.”
There are several families, but, no, it’s not particularly common.
I agree with Georgia..just tell them you want to be correct, and need to know how they would like their names, titles shown on invite. Especially if 3 wedding planners all say differently, you should ask.
Well, I’m certainly no expert on this but I think all titles should be included in the invitations.
“If she was not a doctor, it would be:
Miriam and Col. Jacob Schmidt”
But she is a doctor, so put:
Dr. Miriam and Col. Jacob Schmidt.
We absolutely are going to ask. We just want to be in the ballpark first.
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