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Pentagon Struggling To Explain All 437 Earth Genders To Aliens
Babylon Bee ^

Posted on 06/07/2023 2:44:18 PM PDT by RoosterRedux

Interstellar peace talks broke down Wednesday after Pentagon officials were unable to adequately explain the intricacies of all 437 Earth genders to aliens from outer space.

"Okay, for the last time," said General Lloyd Austin during the third hour of talks with extraterrestrials. "Demigender are people who identify partially with one gender at the same time as another. This is totally different from Bigender, which is when a person identifies as two genders and can switch between them. Do you understand now?"

"This isn't at all confusing."

The aliens spoke via telepathy, communicating easily without the hindrance of language barriers, yet were still unable to understand why their human counterparts kept derailing talks about joining an alliance of free planets to argue that sex and gender are two different things — or even that a developmental condition such as autism can be a gender.

"Everything is gender," Gen Austin explained. "Even this table is gender."

President Biden was present at the meeting but was unable to communicate due to a failure by alien lifeforms to create a telepathic link to his brain.

[Is this man even alive?] asked Xylor Sieth IV. [Is corpse a gender?]

"It can be," Gen Austin answered. "You're catching on!"

Pentagon spokesperson Jean Tangerine told reporters, "Honestly, this is a big part of why the government has kept alien life a secret for so long. They're super bigoted and not ready for the public."

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; UFO's
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 06/07/2023 2:44:18 PM PDT by RoosterRedux
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To: RoosterRedux

As soon as I saw 437...I knew it was wrong...it is 347...


2 posted on 06/07/2023 2:46:07 PM PDT by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: RoosterRedux

3 posted on 06/07/2023 2:46:10 PM PDT by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: RoosterRedux
This should be in "Broken News"...
President Biden was present at the meeting but was unable to communicate due to a failure by alien lifeforms to create a telepathic link to his brain.

4 posted on 06/07/2023 2:47:02 PM PDT by RoosterRedux (See my FR homepage for a link to the entire Bible narrated by David Suchet on youtube. FREE!)
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To: RoosterRedux

Oh how I love The Bee


5 posted on 06/07/2023 2:47:43 PM PDT by Nifster ( I see puppy dogs in the clouds )
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To: RoosterRedux

Talks will really break down when the aliens ask “what defines a woman?”


6 posted on 06/07/2023 2:52:42 PM PDT by Telepathic Intruder
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To: All
Notice that even aliens dress more appropriately that Senator Uncle Festerman.


7 posted on 06/07/2023 2:57:04 PM PDT by RoosterRedux (See my FR homepage for a link to the entire Bible narrated by David Suchet on youtube. FREE!)
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To: RoosterRedux

The alien speaking is saying, “Lard Ass Tin, there are an even number of genders for every species we have encountered so you number of 437 is wrong.”
Secretary of Defense Lard Ass Tin: “Well, that count is what we have found so far.”
Alien: “I will make this simple, Lard Ass Tin, the number of genders for every species we have encountered is also a prime number.”
Lard Ass Tin to Aide: “Call Amazon to find out what a prime number is.”
Aide to Lard Ass Tin: “Yes, sir. Right away.” and leaves conference room,
The Aide returns and says: “Sir, Alexa at Amazon says, the only even prime number is 2!”
Aliens all gawfah!


8 posted on 06/07/2023 3:05:54 PM PDT by MIchaelTArchangel
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To: RoosterRedux

This could easily not be the Babylon Bee.


9 posted on 06/07/2023 3:20:10 PM PDT by maddog55 (The only thing systemic in America is the left's hatred of it!)
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To: All

Man and woman he made them ... but that wasn’t good enough for woke socialism.

In any case, God has a plan for that also.

Stay tuned.


10 posted on 06/07/2023 5:51:19 PM PDT by Peter ODonnell (In leftspeak, "disproven false claim" means fact. "Intolerance" means revulsion. "Progress" =failure)
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To: RoosterRedux

11 posted on 06/07/2023 6:21:12 PM PDT by Salman (It's not a slippery slope if it was part of the program all along. )
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To: RoosterRedux

Alien King: We are so more advanced than you that we only need two genders. What do you use your other 435 for ???


12 posted on 06/07/2023 8:10:21 PM PDT by Tennessee Nana
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