Posted on 05/31/2023 10:38:00 AM PDT by 2nd Amendment
I'm just frustrated. I have 2 older daughters in their 30's. I can't talk to them about any current topic. Everything I say triggers them. Today I got in a fuss defending the gallantry of Southern soldiers. Then I got in a fuss about being a culturist because I believe a substantial portion of the Black underclass in 5 times more likely to commit crimes and murder than other groups. 30 people a week shot in Chicago or New Orleans is OK but DeSantis is a racist. I just said I never see race in a competent individual. I just want to communicate with my offspring. Why are my values always wrong?
That alone probably trips them and most people. It is a treasonous war put down long ago. Maybe focus on what it means to be American, our values today? Did you fly an American flag on Memorial Day, did you serve in the American military, can you relate to them as an American? I ask all that as that is the starting point for today. You'll have to deal with all of their woke BS, DEI, climate hysteria, etc. But you won't even get started on that conversation if they've dismissed you already. I've got 15 year olds, we've got enough to deal with without refighting the civil war. There's 158 years of history since. How about focusing on King's color blind and merit-based view of America vs today's racist and entitled view?
They will have to learn the hard way
FWIW, the best adults I know are the ones who paid their own way through college.
“Keep politics out of your conversation with them.”
Many of us deal with this. What Brian said. Your kids have been indoctrinated along with the rest of the world.
The left has prevailed in the propaganda battle in all major institutions, e.g. schools, MSM, board rooms, even sports, etc. However many indoctrinated people share your values yet can be triggered by certain words and how you say things. You say those magic words and/or forcefully express them like you are on a soapbox and they will react unfavorably based on their conditioning.
You can’t fix this by talking AT them. Find common ground on certain things and values and make slight inroads over time trying to softly PERSUADE them not lecture them.
Good luck!
Many Zoomers are very liberal because it is a matter of survival with that generation. Everyone is deep into virtue signaling and you can’t risk alienating people. They will abandon you for the slightest disagreement. Any variance from GroupThink is considered “extremely dangerous”.
You are correct. One can rarely change anyone’s opinion on anything. And, the left’s hatred of Trump is existential. He threatened their existence. And, now more than ever since their web of lies is almost completely uncovered.
KEEP PRAYING!!
In the 1960s and 70s, the ultra left did not have power, so they urged freedom of speech.
Then they infiltrated everywhere and now they have power. Guess what? They are only for something when it helps them; when it doesn’t, they are against it.
Don't back down from your beliefs, particularly if you can back it with facts. Do it respectfully, and don't dwell on them - because I find its never useful to get into heated arguments with women, particularly daughters. Most of the time talk about happy things.
Remind them of people from Church they liked, events they remember fondly, to keep them connected to their past etc...
Even though they have been poisoned by our woke/post-modern world, If you planted solid seeds in their youth, they WILL eventually come around
I remember growing up with my parents’ main rule at the dinner table (the only time we would have a chance to discuss anything). The rule was....no politics, no religion and no talk about sex. That rule eliminated a LOT of problems that might have occurred as I got older, even tho I wasn’t particularly into politics. I was, however, more “liberal” in my thinking back then.
incredible and commendable humility in your reply.
God blesses such humility.
May I suggest a continued posture of love, truth, prayer and patience combined?
Stand on the truth, in love.
Love with truth.
Be patient as you pray and wait for their eyes to open.
The Socratic method of debate is highly effective in small doses. Asking the other person to validate their conclusions with facts may affect new thinking.
In all this, may all of your family be blessed and strengthened together.
Respectfully
Bye a MAGA hat and a set of earplugs. 😇
MAYBE you have curbed your tongue TOO LONG trying to keep peace. WORK ON THE LIBERAL HUSBANDS!
That happened to my sister’s kids.
Can’t fix stupid.
Covid was perfect storm on all of our kids. Critical we engage them and help them. Yours are in their 30s so you need to talk with them like you might a stranger, that's likely how they see you at this point.
Just will add that they don’t start to see things in a more mature way until they have to.
Girls of ours matured faster than our son.
Once my son became a father, he changed and matured dramatically.
Our goal is simply to love them and have a positive relationship with them for life.
Parenting is done. Coaching now, sharing wisdom now when asked, encouraging and affirming them, and giving them the freedom to choose to live their own lives.
Kids fight control and harden against it.
In our (limited to 3) experience, they are attracted to affirmation and genuine relationship.
You have little influence without relationship.
Every kid and family are different.
And we’ve sure worked through difficult times. Life is good now.
Blessings to you.
I agree with the posters who recommend just not discussing contentious topics. You won’t convince them; they won’t convince you. Just tell them firmly that you’re not going to discuss whatever, when it comes up. If they keep trying to talk about it, they’re trying to pick a fight and you should call them on it.
try reverse psychology
nonsense.
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