Wife Accidentally Opens Trans-Dimensional Portal Trying To Find Power Button On Remote

The Babylon Bee ^ | February 22, 2023 | The Babylon Bee

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

SIDNEY, MT — The quiet town of Sidney, Montana made headlines recently after a transdimensional portal appeared in the home of Bob and Cynthia Allen. Sources say the wife accidentally opened the time-tunneling tesseract while trying to find the power button on the remote.

The cat was sucked into the otherworldly vortex before the couple realized what was happening.

"I just pushed all the colored buttons, hoping one of them turned it off!" screamed Cynthia while clutching the kitchen table with her husband and watching her favorite bowl disappear into the otherworldly schism. "This is why I just let you do all the TV stuff!"

"That wasn't even the right remote!" Howled her husband through the tearing of space-time while simultaneously calculating the replacement costs of all the furniture disappearing into the void. "How many times do I — ugh — the Samsung remote is for the Samsung TV. You're holding the Sony remote which controls the — just give it to me."

Bob eventually regained command of the situation and vaporized the omniperforated rift by tapping the 17-button, 3-remote shutdown sequence that every husband knows by instinct.

At publishing time, the Allen family was recovering from the transdimensional ordeal while housetraining their new pet, a 42-eyed, multi-tentacled Gorblax. Nobody missed the cat.

[waterhill]

Not really anything to joke about.

[cherry]

I don’t touch the remotes very often....I can turn the thing on and off and maybe record something...but to go to Prime or anything else, forgetaboutit.

[DannyTN]

This is all I could find on the internet about Gorblax...

[left that other site]

I HATE When That Happens!

[metmom]

Can you imagine the bedtime stories these dads tell their kids?

[Adder]

Wait! Step away from the remote, Honey!

Just tell me what you want...

[blackdog]

Not the Bee. Really.

[dynachrome]

They know my mom!

[Tax-chick]

My son reprogrammed the cable box once. The rep on the phone kept saying, “Nobody ever did this before!”

[Chode]

better keep them the hell away from the controls...

[oldasrocks]

Will she rent it out? My wife needs a trip.

[Political Junkie Too]

-PJ

[mjp]

[fr_freak]

Wife Accidentally Opens Trans-Dimensional Portal Trying To Find Power Button On Remote`

If I were her husband, I would buy her the largest diamond ring in the world if she could find the door to the dimension where people with penises are considered men and senile old communists are in care homes rather than high office.

[RandallFlagg]

This guy will fix things.
Maybe...

[henbane]

A real one is out there waiting.

Transdimensional Time-tunneling Tesseract

[BiteYourSelf]

The Bee ripped off “Stay Tuned”.🤨