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Oh No! Zelensky Shoots His Eye Out With The Rocket Launcher He Got For Christmas
The Babylon Bee ^
| December 24, 2022
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 12/26/2022 8:37:34 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
KYIV, UKRAINE — Tragedy struck Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky Friday as he shot himself in the eye with a rocket launcher he had received only days before as a gift from the United States.
Zelensky was eager to try out his new gift in the backyard of his home. Unfortunately, the target of Russian President Vladimir Putin he set up was too close to his garage, causing the rocket to ricochet back and hit him in the eye. A source on the scene reported that Zelensky yelled out "Oh, fudge!" before falling to the ground in pain.
Zelensky had appeared before Congress earlier in the week asking for additional funds to support his country's war with Russia. He also made an impassioned plea for his own gift: an official, carbine action, 200 shot, range model rocket launcher with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time.
Congress initially denied the request, with Nancy Pelosi saying that rocket launchers are dangerous and "you'll shoot your eye out." But Mitch McConnell ultimately came through, telling Zelensky that he had a similar rocket launcher when he was just eight years old.
Fortunately for the Ukrainian president, he was wearing his glasses at the time which protected his eye from any permanent damage. In the aftermath of the accident, Zelensky was able to work up some fake tears and persuade Congress to give him another $47 billion for a new pair of glasses.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Business/Economy; Health/Medicine; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; foreignaid; mitchmcconnell; nancypelosi; rocketlauncher; satire; ukraine; zekensky
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Some son of a bitch would die.
2
posted on
12/26/2022 8:38:26 AM PST
by
dfwgator
(Endut! Hoch Hech!)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
3
posted on
12/26/2022 8:45:58 AM PST
by
Flick Lives
(Cui bono)
To: dfwgator
4
posted on
12/26/2022 8:50:52 AM PST
by
Travis McGee
(EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
To: dfwgator
To: vaskypilot
The guitar playing is great - but his singing sucks.
6
posted on
12/26/2022 9:32:44 AM PST
by
enumerated
( )
To: dfwgator
7
posted on
12/26/2022 9:34:29 AM PST
by
Lurker
(Peaceful coexistence with the Left is not possible. Stop pretending that it is.)
To: Flick Lives
“You’ll start WW3, kid!” 😂😂
8
posted on
12/26/2022 9:35:51 AM PST
by
Allegra
To: Travis McGee
9
posted on
12/26/2022 9:36:07 AM PST
by
OKSooner
("Oh, the mad fools!")
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
10
posted on
12/26/2022 9:40:07 AM PST
by
PghBaldy
(12/14/12 - 930am -rampage begins... 12/15/12 - 1030am - Obama team scouts photo-op locations.)
To: null and void; aragorn; EnigmaticAnomaly; kalee; Kale; AZ .44 MAG; Baynative; bgill; bitt; ...
11
posted on
12/26/2022 10:23:01 AM PST
by
bitt
(<img src=' 'width=50%>)
To: Allegra
12
posted on
12/26/2022 10:23:29 AM PST
by
bitt
(<img src=' 'width=50%>)
To: bitt; Flick Lives
I can’t take credit for that one. Flick Lives came up with that. 😂
13
posted on
12/26/2022 11:26:17 AM PST
by
Allegra
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Now that's what I'm talking about! Taking a page from the socialist handbook and turning it back on them. Ridicule the bosstids unmercifully. I can just see Zelenskyy in his olive drab bunny jammies sucking on... Well no, I don't want to think about what he sucks on.
14
posted on
12/26/2022 11:34:20 AM PST
by
higgmeister
(In the Shadow of The Big Chicken!)
To: PghBaldy
Oh, fudge!
LifeBuoy for you!
15
posted on
12/26/2022 11:37:41 AM PST
by
drSteve78
(Je suis Deplorable STILL )
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
You mean he kept one rocket launcher for himself, and didn’t sell it with the others on the black market?
16
posted on
12/26/2022 11:50:39 AM PST
by
mass55th
("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne )
To: vaskypilot
17
posted on
12/26/2022 1:13:45 PM PST
by
wally_bert
(I cannot be sure for certain, but in my personal opinion I am certain that I am not sure.)
To: Travis McGee; bitt; Jane Long; Red Badger; Tilted Irish Kilt; fieldmarshaldj; Kathy in Alaska; ...
Needs a projectile hurl and blood pressure alert.
To: wally_bert
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
20
posted on
12/26/2022 5:08:34 PM PST
by
wally_bert
(I cannot be sure for certain, but in my personal opinion I am certain that I am not sure.)
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