Posted on 12/11/2022 8:24:39 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
MUNCIE, IN — IRS agents kicked off a new holiday tradition this week as they began nationwide canvassing of taxpayers' homes, sliding down their chimneys in search of undeclared gifts worth $600 or more.
Terrence Poole, Special Agent in Charge of Joy-Quashing, explained the agency's actions, saying, "We understand that people get caught up in the spirit of the season and all that. But we want to be a constant reminder that celebrating the birth of the Savior of the universe is not more important than giving an account to the government for every single thing you have."
The Jackson family of Muncie were initially surprised to find the black-suited agents pouring out of their chimney and ripping open their presents, but became cooperative after father Ben Jackson was given an explanation and a brief sleeper hold. "Yeah, I guess it's our patriotic duty or something," said Mr. Jackson after regaining consciousness.
Agents will be searching homes during the entire holiday season. Agent Poole continued, "We'll usually be entering through the chimney. For homes that don't have a chimney, we'll either be sending a magic elf through the keyhole or else using an armored personnel carrier equipped with a battering ram to breach a convenient wall. Yeah, one of those. Probably the second one."
Asked if the agents had faced any difficulties with their searches so far, Agent Poole said, "It was a little embarrassing one time when we ended up in Sam Bankman-Fried's house. We just apologized and backed out slowly. I'm sure he's got nothing important to declare."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
dumbest policy. can’t even sell the crap in my house without bowing to this insane policy which should be abolished
Nice that they reported this from Indiana LOL.
We got hi-tech panhandlers with their Venmo addresses on the cardboard signs they carry.
Might get a surprise tax bill.
Ok, that gave me a chuckle. Not much to laugh over lately.
“Gifts” of $599.99 will suddenly become very commonplace.
Look on the bright side. California has basically decriminalized theft of goods under $1,000 in value. The organized shoplifting rings are a big business. These thefts should be regarded as taxable events and are large enough to trigger active IRS enforcement. Maybe the IRS expansion is Biden’s response to the Cali shoplifting spree. If Cali law enforcement won’t act, perhaps the IRS will.
Come on people, this is part of their plan to go after the billionaires!!!
“Lessee, Cindy Lou Who who is no more than two? You’re still old enough to pay income tax, kid!”
dumbest policy. can’t even sell the crap in my house without bowing to this insane policy
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Only dumb if you’re a liberty and freedom loving person.
For the Left this is a brilliant step forward in constructing their totalitarian stranglehold over the American people.
I’m thinking of a new use for punji sticks.
OOOh I love punji sticks— used them a lot in H1Z1
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