Posted on 11/17/2022 5:49:09 AM PST by servo1969
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Twitter CEO Elon Musk announced Wednesday he would be opening an exclusive company cafeteria that would sell items for $8.00 each, reversing an earlier policy in which free delicacies were lovingly spooned directly into the mouths of employees by an on-call wait staff.
"Twitter is losing millions of dollars a day. We can't keep giving away food," Musk said in a company-wide e-mail. "Support your own paycheck by buying the new Musk Meatball Sub in the company cafeteria!"
Musk's message continued, "I know you can afford 8 bucks for lunch. That's exactly how much you've been paying for fancy coffee drinks every morning ever since I got rid of the barista."
Employees immediately took to Twitter to disparage the announcement. "He is literally asking us to starve to death," tweeted employee Janelle Misiqua (@manwoman). UPDATE: Janelle Misiqua has been fired.
"I'm afraid to try the salad," tweeted Client Account Manager Shelley Duvall (@xxxhotdogtown). "It could be anything!" UPDATE: Shelley Duvall has been fired.
Others have expressed confusion that every item on the menu costs the same. "Why am I paying 8 bucks for lima beans and a pasta dish? It doesn't make any sense," tweeted Director of Accounting Daryl Philbro. UPDATE: Daryl Philbro has been fired.
Network Admin David D'Angelo (@iamacat), however, posted a contrary opinion. "The Musk meatball sub is chef's kiss," he tweeted. "Well worth the 8 dollars. Would buy again."
At publishing time, Musk decided to scrap the new cafeteria in favor of watching Twitter employees battle each other for bread in the new Twitter Thunderdome.
REALLY?
How does it make sense for any employer to give you free food every day?!!
Especially one that is losing millions of dollars every day.
Got me AGAIN
Got me....royally!!
Got me AGAIN
Don’t feel bad, it took me a few times getting taken in by the BEE before I check source before commenting.
Things are really strange when you can not tell satire from reality anymore.
I bet Elon would be laughing his a** off if he read this.
When I saw Musk Meatball Sub, I was convinced for a second that it was real. That actually does seem like an item that Musk would put on the menu in his cafeterias.
Bee-yootiful!
Chicken Feed ,LOL
I am pretty sure that Elon does read the Bee.
He gave them a hour long in person / on camera interview a few months ago.
Using an IKEA Cafeteria as the background pix, LOL!
didn’t know that...thanks
Half the time when I check some crazy story before I get sucked in, it’s not the Bee. That’s how upside down the world has become. 🤬
You can find it easily on YouTube
Comedy gold.
I’ll bet it’s a blast working at the Bee. 🐝
i did already...thanks
IKEA grub is wonderful.
Wonderful fried chicken sandwich.
Sadly the only one is on the opposite side of town 45 mins away.
With 5 dolla gas, not worth the trip.
Pay-per-View Gold Mine
LOL, 8 bucks is actually cheap. When I taught 10 years ago lunch in cafe was over 3 dollars. Love the bee.
Amusing that the menu has an over-priced Frito offering for the potheads.
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