Posted on 07/21/2022 12:25:46 PM PDT by DFG
A “highly intoxicated” Florida woman was arrested for allegedly stabbing a minivan with a pitchfork — after she was spotted trying to sell teddy bears behind a supermarket.
Lisa Slone, 56, was hauled off to the Lake County Jail Tuesday afternoon following the incident at a Publix store in Minneola.
According to a Florida Highway Patrol report obtained by The Post, a manager at the supermarket on North Hancock Road told troopers who arrived after 2 p.m. that Slone was trying to hawk stuffed animals earlier in the day.
The manager also said that Slone, who was observed walking around with a black whip and a pitchfork, used the weapon to pierce a minivan — but the owner of the vehicle did not want police involved and offered to pay for the damage himself.
A trooper wrote in the report that he ordered Slone to drop the pitchfork, but she refused and walked away.
Slone was then taken into custody by force and placed in the back of a patrol car, where she was able to unbuckle her seatbelt and proceeded to kick at the rear window, prompting troopers to have her feet placed into a “hobble.”
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
The owner of the minivan is probably her confidant when she gets off Somas and is cleaned up a little.
*Oh, I dunno. If I was as drunk as she was-yeah, I’d hit it!*
It would be a public service. She’s nice looking. All she needs is the man juice.
I’ve heard that what’s waiting for the unsaved bears absolutely no resemblance to human beings.
My guess is that she wasn’t intoxicated. She was on meth.
The minivan was clearly asking for it.
Sorry, that went over my head...
She’s doing more than alcohol
Beaten by the ugly stick and still has the bruises on her face to prove it!
Free advice: Listen kiddos, never buy a teddy bear from a drunk woman with a pitchfork.
Dawn Quixote
After a full day, Dawn Quixote and Sancho come to a field of windmills, which Dawn Quixote mistakes for giants. Dawn Quixote charges at one at full speed, and her lance gets caught in the windmill’s sail, throwing her and Rocinante to the ground. Dawn Quixote assures Sancho that the same enemy enchanter who has stolen her Kia Forte turned the giants into windmills at the last minute.
Dawn Quixote sobers up in police tank shortly thereafter.
wy69
She just might clean up purty good.....
Or a black assault whip!
Buy this teddy bear . . . or else!
Damn, I love my new state!
DANG!
Just join up with those Limey Tyre Busters and work that angle.
Florida Woman = Cue 1960s Batman theme!
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She turned me into a newt!
“Free advice: Listen kiddos, never buy a teddy bear from a drunk woman with a pitchfork.”
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This.
Also, Aerosmith Stephen Tyler may be correct.
You remember the little girl's favorite hymn? "Gladly, the cross-eyed bear?"
Well, the unsaved bears are the *other* ones.
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