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DeSantis Outlaws Man Buns
The Babylon Bee ^ | July 20, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/21/2022 8:50:27 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

TALLAHASSEE, FL — Due to the influx of new residents from Liberal states, DeSantis has signed an order outlawing man-buns before they can infect the proud and masculine culture of Florida.

The legal consequences of having a man-bun will include forfeiting the right to vote and having the bun cut off in a public demonstration of justice.

"Just as we will not have our school textbooks replaced with Marxist propaganda, we will not have our mullets replaced with hippie-dippie man buns," said DeSantis to the press. "The legacy of Florida as free, fair, and man-bun free will live on!"

Brett Rodrick, an ex-California resident who now lives in Florida and has sported a man bun since his youth, said "I can't believe this. What did my man-bun ever do to him, dude? It's just, like, totally unfair that we can't rock a bun, you know? DeSantis is such a fascist!"

Rodrick then tied his long hair up in a messy bun and was immediately dragged away and brought to the town square for a public bun removal.

At publishing time, Rodrick confirmed he plans to remain in Florida because he likes the low taxes and having a job.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Health/Medicine; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; desantis; florida; hippies; liberals; manbuns; migration; satire
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To: FLT-bird

Bee got ya!


41 posted on 07/21/2022 12:03:02 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Bus No. 2525)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Man bun: The first step in emasculating a boy into a queer.


42 posted on 07/21/2022 12:13:27 PM PDT by CodeToad (Arm up! They Have!)
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To: CodeToad

Makes it easy to slam their faces into something hard when the need arises.


43 posted on 07/21/2022 12:16:02 PM PDT by mad_as_he$$
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I was kidding. Obviously you can’t ban a hair style.


44 posted on 07/21/2022 12:17:04 PM PDT by FLT-bird
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To: mad_as_he$$

A face-beating knob! lol.


45 posted on 07/21/2022 12:37:23 PM PDT by CodeToad (Arm up! They Have!)
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To: FLT-bird

Yet. );-)


46 posted on 07/21/2022 12:45:14 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Bus No. 2525)
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To: Bob434

Now if something could be done about white dudes with dreadlocks!


47 posted on 07/21/2022 12:50:44 PM PDT by Scott Kraut (Diversity for the sake of diversity is flat out stupidity. )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Ok, I’m sold. I’m voting for DeSantis over Trump.

(It’s a joke, son!)


48 posted on 07/21/2022 12:50:45 PM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Yet I joked and you thought I was serious. :^)


49 posted on 07/21/2022 2:05:48 PM PDT by FLT-bird
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

90% of leftists in CA are transplants from other states


50 posted on 07/21/2022 5:33:13 PM PDT by papercliprippa
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To: Scott Kraut

Lol yup. Surprised that the left isn’t screaming about “cu,tursl appropristion” over white men with dreads (I know they do so ewhat, but you don’t see many .efties going beezerk,over them these days)


51 posted on 07/22/2022 6:29:19 AM PDT by Bob434
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