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DeSantis Outlaws Man Buns
The Babylon Bee ^ | July 20, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/21/2022 8:50:27 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

TALLAHASSEE, FL — Due to the influx of new residents from Liberal states, DeSantis has signed an order outlawing man-buns before they can infect the proud and masculine culture of Florida.

The legal consequences of having a man-bun will include forfeiting the right to vote and having the bun cut off in a public demonstration of justice.

"Just as we will not have our school textbooks replaced with Marxist propaganda, we will not have our mullets replaced with hippie-dippie man buns," said DeSantis to the press. "The legacy of Florida as free, fair, and man-bun free will live on!"

Brett Rodrick, an ex-California resident who now lives in Florida and has sported a man bun since his youth, said "I can't believe this. What did my man-bun ever do to him, dude? It's just, like, totally unfair that we can't rock a bun, you know? DeSantis is such a fascist!"

Rodrick then tied his long hair up in a messy bun and was immediately dragged away and brought to the town square for a public bun removal.

At publishing time, Rodrick confirmed he plans to remain in Florida because he likes the low taxes and having a job.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Health/Medicine; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; desantis; florida; hippies; liberals; manbuns; migration; satire
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1 posted on 07/21/2022 8:50:27 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

What are “man buns” - some kind of derriere-enhancing device?


2 posted on 07/21/2022 8:53:04 AM PDT by COBOL2Java (Fauci is a despicable little turd)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

“Ask yourself: Are you Toshiro Mifune.....”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0c_1XKJUSQ


3 posted on 07/21/2022 8:53:35 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire, or both.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Total samurai move


4 posted on 07/21/2022 8:54:45 AM PDT by combat_boots
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

There was a day when I considered bee articles as great satire (which it is) and never to be seen as reality. However now, even for this article, I am not willing to test the fates and believe it to be unlikely.


5 posted on 07/21/2022 8:55:28 AM PDT by Skwor
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Finally, some sensible man buns laws!


6 posted on 07/21/2022 8:58:03 AM PDT by Bob434
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To: COBOL2Java

Round buns o. The top,of head, they curl their hair into a bun- it looks retarded for the most part


7 posted on 07/21/2022 8:59:12 AM PDT by Bob434
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I thought man buns were similar to woman buns, but both Sessue Hayakawa and governor Desantis disagree.

5.56mm


8 posted on 07/21/2022 9:01:39 AM PDT by M Kehoe (Quid Pro Joe and the Ho got to go.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

everytime i see one, i want to zippo it


9 posted on 07/21/2022 9:06:44 AM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: COBOL2Java

Do your web search my friend


10 posted on 07/21/2022 9:07:55 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Man-buns……..AKA “Bitch Biscuit”.


11 posted on 07/21/2022 9:09:02 AM PDT by David Chase
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Man buns are stupid looking, for sure.
But so are mullets.


12 posted on 07/21/2022 9:09:14 AM PDT by Signalman
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To: Chode

Not as bad as the old man ponytail but damned close


13 posted on 07/21/2022 9:09:20 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave)
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To: Signalman

“so are mullets”

Not a fan of the Kentucky waterfall eh?

Me either.....but somehow they are Maa comeback.


14 posted on 07/21/2022 9:11:26 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave)
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To: V_TWIN

Making


15 posted on 07/21/2022 9:11:46 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

If you are not a sumo wrestler or a Samurai you are not worthy of a man bun.


16 posted on 07/21/2022 9:12:25 AM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (It is better to light a single flame thrower then curse the darkness. A bunch of them is better yet)
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To: BenLurkin

17 posted on 07/21/2022 9:16:53 AM PDT by SamAdams76 (3,576,552 users on Truth Social)
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To: V_TWIN

100%


18 posted on 07/21/2022 9:18:42 AM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

BWAHAHAHA!


19 posted on 07/21/2022 9:22:06 AM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Inside every leftist is a blood-thirsty fascist yearning to be free of current societal constraints.)
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To: V_TWIN

LOL! I was thinking of growing one!


20 posted on 07/21/2022 9:24:06 AM PDT by US_MilitaryRules
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