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DeSantis Outlaws Man Buns
The Babylon Bee ^ | July 20, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/21/2022 8:50:27 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

TALLAHASSEE, FL — Due to the influx of new residents from Liberal states, DeSantis has signed an order outlawing man-buns before they can infect the proud and masculine culture of Florida.

The legal consequences of having a man-bun will include forfeiting the right to vote and having the bun cut off in a public demonstration of justice.

"Just as we will not have our school textbooks replaced with Marxist propaganda, we will not have our mullets replaced with hippie-dippie man buns," said DeSantis to the press. "The legacy of Florida as free, fair, and man-bun free will live on!"

Brett Rodrick, an ex-California resident who now lives in Florida and has sported a man bun since his youth, said "I can't believe this. What did my man-bun ever do to him, dude? It's just, like, totally unfair that we can't rock a bun, you know? DeSantis is such a fascist!"

Rodrick then tied his long hair up in a messy bun and was immediately dragged away and brought to the town square for a public bun removal.

At publishing time, Rodrick confirmed he plans to remain in Florida because he likes the low taxes and having a job.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Health/Medicine; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; desantis; florida; hippies; liberals; manbuns; migration; satire
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Not to be confused with Man Boobs.


21 posted on 07/21/2022 9:25:00 AM PDT by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Bun on a woman good. Bun on a man bad. I realized I was heterosexual when I saw Audrey Hepburn in, “War & Peace”. Didn’t know why I thought she was so interesting. But I understood later.


22 posted on 07/21/2022 9:25:33 AM PDT by BigEdLB (Let’s go Brandon!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Bun on a woman good. Bun on a man bad. I realized I was heterosexual when I saw Audrey Hepburn in, “War & Peace”. Didn’t know why I thought she was so interesting. But I understood later.

23 posted on 07/21/2022 9:29:46 AM PDT by BigEdLB (Let’s go Brandon!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Rodrick then tied his long hair up in a messy bun and was immediately dragged away and brought to the town square for a pubic bun removal.

I bet that was ugly...and painful.

24 posted on 07/21/2022 9:31:57 AM PDT by MIchaelTArchangel (I miss Don Imus!)
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To: V_TWIN
Do your web search my friend

I guess sarcasm is a foreign language to you, my friend.

25 posted on 07/21/2022 9:33:53 AM PDT by COBOL2Java (Fauci is a despicable little turd)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Yuri Prohaska is the only man I know that I’d give an exemption to wearing a man bun. And that’s because he could kick my butt if I didn’t give him one.


26 posted on 07/21/2022 9:35:45 AM PDT by Boogieman
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To: Signalman

“But so are mullets.”

But at least they’re Murican!


27 posted on 07/21/2022 9:36:47 AM PDT by Boogieman
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To: COBOL2Java

/s/ is your friend....my friend


28 posted on 07/21/2022 9:38:07 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

A bad day with a bald head is better than a good day with a man bun.


29 posted on 07/21/2022 9:38:12 AM PDT by Palio di Siena
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I wonder if I could find a man bun wig for my bald head.


30 posted on 07/21/2022 9:50:51 AM PDT by Theophilous Meatyard III
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To: V_TWIN
/s/ is your friend....my friend

Only for the hopelessly ignorant....my friend.

31 posted on 07/21/2022 9:59:15 AM PDT by COBOL2Java (Fauci is a despicable little turd)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
The 'only' manly buns!


32 posted on 07/21/2022 10:00:48 AM PDT by Boomer ( George Orwell: “During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.” )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

It’s the Bee, but if true I would support him.


33 posted on 07/21/2022 10:09:01 AM PDT by lurk (u)
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To: COBOL2Java

Or a jackass


34 posted on 07/21/2022 10:10:51 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

It had to be done. It starts with a man bun and the next thing you know he’s got NPR on the ear buds, a mask on his face, and a soy latte in his hand.


35 posted on 07/21/2022 10:14:34 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Man buns with earrings....
I recently saw a guy with half gray and dark hair with a mohawk haircut at Walmart.


36 posted on 07/21/2022 10:16:46 AM PDT by minnesota_bound (Need more money to buy everything now)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Oh, man. If only...

I despise man buns.


37 posted on 07/21/2022 10:17:39 AM PDT by MayflowerMadam
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To: BigEdLB

Thank You.
I had forgotten how beautiful, gorgeous and grand the actresses of the past were. 😍
The current crop seems to be racing to the bottom. 🤮


38 posted on 07/21/2022 11:03:12 AM PDT by oldvirginian (The CCP is the world's largest criminal organization. )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Another sensible law from heavy D which I wholeheartedly support.

If you like having a man bun, go back to San Fransicko.


39 posted on 07/21/2022 11:43:16 AM PDT by FLT-bird
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To: Boomer

Yep.


40 posted on 07/21/2022 12:00:10 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Bus No. 2525)
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