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Newly Transitioned Woman Proudly Runs Over First Curb
Babylon Bee ^ | 7/18/2022 | BabylonBee.com

Posted on 07/18/2022 9:32:55 AM PDT by God luvs America

Freshly transitioned to a woman, Leslie Roberson tasted the sweet thrill of womanhood this morning as she absolutely smashed her car into a curb.

"Whew! Sure feel like a woman now!" shouted Leslie with glee. "Better take the car into a mechanic now and get taken advantage of. This is great!"

Previously known as Bob, the newly minted "Leslie" had grown tired of deciding where to go to eat and being comfortable at ambient temperatures. "I just wasn't living my truth," said Leslie, turning down the thermostat. "Now I can take a hundred blankets with me everywhere I go and have completely preposterous mood swings. Wait, did I just close the garage door on the trunk?"

Sources say Leslie spent the remainder of the day making one sandwich after another, reveling in the joys of femininity. After learning how to do that turban thing women do with towels on their heads after taking a shower, Leslie then added seventeen more throw pillows to the bed. After Leslie turned down a high-level appointment in the Biden administration, Victoria's Secret called to offer a modeling gig.

"Wow, no one ever used to call me when I was Bob," said Leslie at publishing time. "Being oppressed is the best!"


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
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To: Carthego delenda est

.....oh, brother....!!!! the four most commonly used words by my wife and the ones I always cringe when I hear them....

1) “But I liked it.....”
2) “It was on sale.....”


21 posted on 07/18/2022 10:25:54 AM PDT by TokarevM57
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To: God luvs America
After Leslie turned down a high-level appointment in the Biden administration, Victoria's Secret called to offer a modeling gig.

LOL.. That is funny... 🤓

22 posted on 07/18/2022 10:28:00 AM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (I'm the one trying to save American Democracy...Donald Trump 6/5/21 at the NCGOP convention)
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To: God luvs America
Shades of “Mr. Garrison’s Fancy New Vagina”....


23 posted on 07/18/2022 10:38:45 AM PDT by gundog ( It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
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To: God luvs America

Hope, Leslie. That’s why he went by Bob.


24 posted on 07/18/2022 10:41:19 AM PDT by scrabblehack
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To: God luvs America

lol ROFLMAO


25 posted on 07/18/2022 10:42:54 AM PDT by markman46 (engage brain before using keyboard!!!you)
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To: lee martell

Where, exactly, did the trend/compulsion/ritual/perversion of putting decorative pillows on beds and sofas come from?

______________________

Its genetic.


26 posted on 07/18/2022 10:55:01 AM PDT by Chickensoup ( Leftists totalitarian fascists are eradicating conservatives. Leftists are genocidal. )
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To: God luvs America

She promptly blamed the curb, no doubt.


27 posted on 07/18/2022 10:57:00 AM PDT by dainbramaged ( Your friends might get me in a rush, but not before I make your head into a canoe.)
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To: God luvs America

First time i traveled with my wife, then girlfriend, 25 years ago, she came out of the shower and had the towel wrapped around her head. I though it was amazing the way she got it on her head and was able to keep it on her head without dropping off!!!

___________________

remember these are the descendants of women who carried water in clay pots on their heads, and baskets filled with items.

Balancing a towel?

Nothing


28 posted on 07/18/2022 10:57:03 AM PDT by Chickensoup ( Leftists totalitarian fascists are eradicating conservatives. Leftists are genocidal. )
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To: God luvs America

I always tell my wife, “there’s no law stating you must drive through every pothole in the road.”

Yes there is!


29 posted on 07/18/2022 10:58:10 AM PDT by Chickensoup ( Leftists totalitarian fascists are eradicating conservatives. Leftists are genocidal. )
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To: SamAdams76

It must be dripping estrogen over here.


30 posted on 07/18/2022 10:59:10 AM PDT by Chickensoup ( Leftists totalitarian fascists are eradicating conservatives. Leftists are genocidal. )
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To: SamAdams76

“The 17 extra throw pillows on the bed is pure gold.”

Makes me wonder whether the toilet seat is up or down.

wy69


31 posted on 07/18/2022 11:36:56 AM PDT by whitney69
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To: God luvs America

Are those that are willing to submit to vax are those that have compromised themselves into whoredome and fornication in the past?


32 posted on 07/18/2022 11:40:44 AM PDT by Varsity Flight ( "War by the prophesies set before you." I Timothy 1:18)
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To: God luvs America

LOL
this one hits it out of the park


33 posted on 07/18/2022 11:49:50 AM PDT by SisterK (the final variant is communism)
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To: God luvs America

LOL!


34 posted on 07/18/2022 11:50:51 AM PDT by nutmeg
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To: whitney69

In a home where there are 17 extra throw pillows on a bed, the toilet seat is definitely down. Otherwise, you will have an angry woman with her arms crossed standing in front of you in full lecture mode.


35 posted on 07/18/2022 12:55:10 PM PDT by SamAdams76 (3,557,412 users on Truth Social)
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To: SamAdams76

“...you will have an angry woman...”

What about in this case when the woman isn’t a woman? It’s a toss up.

wy69


36 posted on 07/18/2022 2:13:28 PM PDT by whitney69
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To: stars & stripes forever

Mrs. Deplorable is a better driver than I am. She never put a car on its roof... I did..


37 posted on 07/18/2022 6:08:48 PM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (I'm the one trying to save American Democracy...Donald Trump 6/5/21 at the NCGOP convention)
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