Posted on 05/13/2022 11:42:56 AM PDT by sodpoodle
You're An EXTREME Redneck When...
1) You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids
2) The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3) You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4) You think a woman who is out of your league, bowls on a different night.
5) You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6) Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'
7) You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8) Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9) Your junior prom offered day care.
10) You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'
11) You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12) The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13) You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14) One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15) You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16) You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17) You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
And in closing....
Two good ol' boys in an Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!
😀
What is this “prog humor” thing that you are referring to?
Leftists don’t have a sense of humor, and are often unintentionally ironic.
I haven’t looked at that site lately. Reason enough for us to get hit with a meteor…
Way back in the early-ish 1980s, we hosted a German foreign exchange student. Just before he arrived, our dishwasher broke. When the young man asked what my folks were going to do about the broken dishwasher, my dad, without skipping a beat, replied "We just imported one from Germany." The kid got a weird look on his face and my dad couldn't keep from busting out laughing. He finally told him they were just waiting on the new one to be delivered.
Change the word “Redneck” to “African-American” and tell you you would have enough nerve to tell the same ‘joke”
I think not.
No need to donate as there is a subscription cost and check out my merch!
Please provide all personal and on line data.
Dang! Now you have hit on the real reason I don’t go out much!
I agree with you.
Sodpoodle - disgusting, degenerate, antiwhite... I think some freeper have become woke and really don’t have a clue. I truly have relatives that would fit some of those situations. If you can’t laugh at yourself and your people then you have no right to laugh at any other people. Have you heard the joke about “shoot old blue...”. Just wondered.
Russian language ethnic slur for a Ukrainian. Slung here to refer to anyone who doesn’t agree with the Putin cheerleaders.
Do you mean it would be called a teethbrush?
You’re a Redneck if: You go to family reunions to meet women.
Thanks. I’m in the camp that trusts neither.
I have a word for people who come to a humor thread to complain. It is the same word for people who get offended over lighthearted jokes that revolve around culture, ethnicity, nationality, and similar categories: Karen.
The left, ideologically, is demonic but their tactics win. Go get ‘em!
I'm always wonder what exactly kind of cooter is THAT what got a zipper?
I was born and raised on the High Flat Plains, and Rocky Mountains. yet I now live in the Ozarks.
You can tell I am different because both my legs are the same length due to the flat land. Everyone of these hillbillies around here has one leg shorter than the other to keep from falling down the hills. They walk around the hills, I walk up and down them.
One day, in school, my brother did a survey of his hillbilly class(He also was born on the High Plains)
Everyone in the school (except us) were kin to everyone else in the school, by blood or marriage.
WE, being from the Rocky Mountain gas camps had seen lots of the West, yet here some had never been out of the County even though you could see the county line from the hill in back of the school.
When dad first moved us here(for what reason we never knew as he was not from this area) if you needed help with something the locals would ask...”What’s in it for me?”
Back on the High Plains if you needed help, neighbors from twenty miles around would come to help not asking for anything.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.