Posted on 03/19/2022 1:21:43 AM PDT by Trillian
ATLANTA, GA—Celebrations for winning the 500-yard freestyle at the NCAA Women’s Swimming and Diving Championships were short-lived for convincingly female athlete Lia Thomas, as authorities caught her in possession of performance-enhancing testicles.
“Investigators will need time to sift through the trail of evidence right now,” said NCAA’s Head of Testicle Enforcement, Bob Huevos, while holding up a jock strap, the device suspected to have been used to conceal the contraband from rigorous testing protocols. “We suspect the swimmer used this contraption to keep the performance-enhancing testicles secured between her legs.”
Blood tests of the disgraced, obviously-female swimmer have led Huevos to believe Thomas had a long history of using testicles to dose with powerful testosterone, perhaps beginning in early childhood.
“Long term testicle use like this may explain the female swimmer’s towering height, powerful muscles, dense bone structure, deep voice, and bulging crotch,” explained Huevos, “These permanent mutations from testosterone abuse would have given her a lifetime advantage over other female athletes even if she were to quit and go on estrogen. For that reason, Lia Thomas should be disqualified from competition.”
This may not be the end of Lia Thomas’ story, however. In the name of equity, diversity, and inclusion, the disgraced swimmer has been given a second chance with an invitation to compete as a collegiate swimmer in the NCAA Swimming And Diving Championships For Women With Testicles.
I figured this had to be Babylon Bee.
Check this one out (wish I knew how to post it):
https://twitter.com/adamcarolla/status/1504952424477298688?s=20&t=OkWE-FxlMMQswPxOQm6VWA
Why are they bustin her balls for this?
FTA:
“NCAA’s Head of Testicle Enforcement, Bob Huevos,”
Shouldn’t that have been, “Beto” Huevos?
I think Beto is more a fondler than a enforcer.
How did she acquire these testicles, as well as an enlarged Adam’s apple, a penis, and trillions of xy chromosomes? Probably off the black market.
LOL
testicle lockbox
A figurative device, in which a woman hold’s a man’s manhood, preventing him from acting as per his natural state. Implicit in this arrangement is that the woman has means of reprisal against the man, and should he misbehave, grave consequences await. Most commonly used to describe arrangements in spousal or significant-other relationships, but can also be used in other scenarios where a woman has power over a man, and he must accede to her demands or face consequences. Often abbreviated, just ‘TLB’, especially when used in polite company.
The word is only correctly used if the man feels emasculated as a result - it does not cover all situations where a woman has authority over a man. A female boss who just threatens to fire a guy would not have him in a testicle lockbox if he feels machismo because of it.
In the late 90’s, perhaps the genesis of the term, it was used to describe the arrangement Hillary Clinton had come to with Bill Clinton after the Monica Lewinsky scandal erupted.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=testicle%20lockbox
The NCAA is not representative of woman’s sports. Look at the fact that they let a man, Lia Thomas compete against woman.
Huevos = Eggs..,
I think this is a big joke and I wouldn't be at all surprised if he identifies as a man again once his competitive swimming career is finished.
I am so confused, it's no wonder the NCAA can't figure out that being born with external plumbing and massive amounts of testosterone, and growing to over six feet tall with a huge set of lungs, and more muscle mass that "it" might be a man.
There is no such thing as a trans, there are people that alter their bodies, have anal sex, remove their sex organs, change clothes but, in the end it is either XX or XY and it happens when the sperm fertilizes the egg {BTW sperm comes from men and eggs come from women} and once done, it is done.
You can be a demonRAT and kill the unborn baby, but no matter what, the gender of the baby has already been cast in chromosomes, and cannot be changed.
I do not care how people choose to have sex, that is between them and God, but I do care when they try to make me believe that Lia Thomas is a woman...NFW.
I like the Bee, but they’re going to have to do better than this is they want to keep up with the absurdities coming out the left.
I think a lot of them are. I expected Kaitlyn to come out at some point and say "You fell for this? Do I look like a woman to you?" but it didn't happen. If the reports are correct he's had his operation anyway.
I FEEL that I’m a multi-billionaire and demand that my bank recognize it! I also demand a special month be named in honor of my feeling, while requiring all non-billionaires to take training to identify and incorporate my status into their lives. If people don’t concur with my feelings, they shall be punished by a court of kangaroos and be mandated to attend the school of make-believe to remove the reality of fact.
This is why I love The Bee
This comes to an end when some savvy coach fields his schools men’s basketball team and calls it the women’s team. Right now there’s no rule against it.
Loser on the left, winners on the right.
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