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Canadian ATMs Now Asking Your Political Views Before Allowing You To Withdraw Money
The Babylon Bee ^ | February 18, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/21/2022 8:21:53 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

CANADA—Under orders from the Supreme Chancellor of the People's Republic of Canada Justin Trudeau, all bank ATMs across the provinces will now require anyone attempting to withdraw money from their accounts to take a small quiz on their political beliefs.

"Let me be perfectly clear," said Trudeau while standing in a puddle of his own urine. "Those with unacceptable views shouldn't have money. These evil working-class people being allowed to buy things and eat is a threat to public safety and national security. Starting today, all ATMs will screen people for unacceptable views before they can withdraw funds."

Questions asked by the ATM will include:

How would you describe your political views?
What are your pronouns?
Do you think Trudeau is the most powerful and masculine leader ever?
Do you, or have you ever, listened to Joe Rogan—and enjoyed it?
What lives matter?
Do you live on land stolen from indigenous peoples?
Do you own a semi-truck?
Do you worship any other god besides Trudeau?

According to sources, anti-mandate freedom protestors have already formed their own parallel economy trading in beaver pelts, maple syrup, and Bitcoin. Trudeau has promised to crush this parallel economy and make the remaining protestors bow to his divine will—as soon as he puts on a pair of dry trousers.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Conspiracy; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: atms; babylonbee; canada; politics; satire
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Canada's financial system will not tolerate crimethink, eh?
1 posted on 02/21/2022 8:21:53 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

This won’t be satire/humor for long there or here.


2 posted on 02/21/2022 8:24:23 AM PST by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

You scared me. It’s so nuts up here, I thought this was real.


3 posted on 02/21/2022 8:24:43 AM PST by JudyinCanada (Maranatha)
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To: MeneMeneTekelUpharsin

Yep, this is just another example of the Bee getting ahead of the curve, bookmark this. Some form of this will be real life before the end of the year


4 posted on 02/21/2022 8:25:43 AM PST by Skwor
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Give me my money!


5 posted on 02/21/2022 8:26:15 AM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

If you still live in Canada, answer the question below!:

Why would anyone keep their money in a Canadian Bank?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FL9xZl3XoAAK2D6?format=jpg&name=large

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K71ZQiKZCfY


6 posted on 02/21/2022 8:29:13 AM PST by Grampa Dave (Remember one thing!: Those in power, want to stay in power, and they want more of it.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Geez...didn’t see the Bee and got stung

I was deciding earlier this morning if I should withdraw as much cash as I can from bank, just to be safe.


7 posted on 02/21/2022 8:32:52 AM PST by kanawa ((Securing the 2022/2024 elections is of paramount importance.))
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I think it’s time the US annex’s Canada.


8 posted on 02/21/2022 8:39:44 AM PST by Rappini (Compromise has its place. It's called second.)
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To: Rappini

Canadians are well to the left of Americans, so if we let them into the Union, be prepared for a tilt to the left.


9 posted on 02/21/2022 8:45:24 AM PST by maro (MAGA!)
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To: JudyinCanada

I thought this was real.

************

Before long it will be.


10 posted on 02/21/2022 8:47:25 AM PST by Starboard
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To: kanawa

Geez...didn’t see the Bee and got stung

***********

It could get even worse than the parody. Much worse.


11 posted on 02/21/2022 8:48:49 AM PST by Starboard
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Good Lord don’t give ‘em any ideas.


12 posted on 02/21/2022 8:57:20 AM PST by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave)
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To: Rappini

We almost did during the Revolution. George Washington sent Benedict Arnold to capture Quebec.


13 posted on 02/21/2022 8:58:39 AM PST by EvilCapitalist (Merry Christmas Illhan!)
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To: JudyinCanada

There are no crazy conspiracy theories any more.

There are just a lot of folks with normalcy bias standing around looking kinda lost.


14 posted on 02/21/2022 9:00:37 AM PST by cgbg (A kleptocracy--if they can keep it. Think of it as the Cantillon Effect in action.)
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To: maro

“Too the left of Americans”.

Yes, but for how long?


15 posted on 02/21/2022 9:02:42 AM PST by Grey182 (Trump won, Benedict is still Pope & Jeffery Epstein didn't kill himself.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

“Do you think Trudeau is the most powerful and masculine leader ever?”

That’s not a proper question. It allows the possibility of doubt. It should read “In what ways do you know that Trudeau is the most powerful and masculine leader ever?”


16 posted on 02/21/2022 9:03:57 AM PST by rightwingcrazy (;-,)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I cannot believe this is satire. Not yet.


17 posted on 02/21/2022 9:06:13 AM PST by fwdude (Every time I see someone voluntarily masked in public, I know I'm looking at a vaccinated person.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

One could have fun with answers to their socialistic machine.


18 posted on 02/21/2022 9:30:13 AM PST by From The Deer Stand
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To: JudyinCanada

Got me too. Coming soon though.


19 posted on 02/21/2022 9:30:29 AM PST by cowboyusa (America Cowboy up! )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

The g’mint giveth you OPM
The g’mint can taketh it and buy key politicians another mansion or a private jet.


20 posted on 02/21/2022 9:35:47 AM PST by Leep (Freedom: "What's the big deal" -joe biden)
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