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NIKE Releases New Women's Swimsuit With Extra Space For Male Genitalia
Babylon Bee ^ | Feburary 18, 2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/20/2022 4:30:22 PM PST by Morgana

BEAVERTON, OR—After carefully listening to feedback from a growing chorus of three of their customers, Nike is making some long-awaited improvements to their 2022 women's swimwear line. Nike's new "Performance Series" of one-piece competitive women's swimsuits will feature extra room in the crotch for male genitalia.

"We suddenly realized we weren't serving a very important segment of women competitors—those with male genitals," said Nike VP of Diversity and Inclusion Xandryx Bithrannamynx. "Now, women of all shapes and sizes will be able to compete in their favorite swim sports!"

Several product designers at NIKE questioned the decision, as the new swimsuits now fit much too loosely on 99.97% of female swimmers. Those product designers were immediately condemned as transphobes and fired—after which they were doxxed, removed from social media, frozen out of their bank accounts, condemned publically by President Biden, and beat up by a 327-pound trans woman named "Lila" before being dumped on the street to fend for themselves.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Sports
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; notfunny; satire; transgender; transswimmers
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To: Morgana

Moochelle’s influence?


21 posted on 02/20/2022 4:47:30 PM PST by SuperLuminal (Where is another Sam Adams now that we desperately need him?)
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To: Morgana
Don't laugh...


22 posted on 02/20/2022 4:51:12 PM PST by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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the Bee - always on the cutting edge of contemporary news.


23 posted on 02/20/2022 4:52:23 PM PST by RetiredTexasVet (When Satan craps another demon possessed Progressive is born.)
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To: EEGator

Clown world.


24 posted on 02/20/2022 4:52:46 PM PST by Vision (Elections are one day. Reject "Chicago" vote harvesting. Election Reform Now. Obama is an evildoer.)
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To: EEGator

Just stop heating the pools.


25 posted on 02/20/2022 4:57:11 PM PST by gundog ( It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
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To: EEGator

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”


26 posted on 02/20/2022 5:00:33 PM PST by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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To: Sarcazmo

Ooooooohhhh... you, you got me!
********************
We live in strange times when satire such as this is indistinguishable from reality.


27 posted on 02/20/2022 5:03:05 PM PST by sunny bonobo
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To: gundog; Huskrrrr

Costanza level shrinkage. Poor Jami Gertz…

Though her real life husband is worth 6 billion dollars.


28 posted on 02/20/2022 5:08:05 PM PST by EEGator
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To: EEGator

29 posted on 02/20/2022 5:09:55 PM PST by Magnetar
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To: Levy78

A designer has that suit in the works for sure.


30 posted on 02/20/2022 5:11:47 PM PST by logi_cal869 (-cynicus the "concern troll" a/o 10/03/2018 /!i!! &@$%&*(@ -)
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To: Magnetar
Who wore it better?

.

31 posted on 02/20/2022 5:12:10 PM PST by gundog ( It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
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To: Magnetar

“That’s hot…”


32 posted on 02/20/2022 5:13:17 PM PST by EEGator
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To: Levy78

“I totally thought this was real”

Ditto. I mean, why wouldn’t they?


33 posted on 02/20/2022 5:20:17 PM PST by NobleFree ("law is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the right of an individual")
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To: EEGator

😂 Anyone wanna bet someone will make these?


34 posted on 02/20/2022 5:26:39 PM PST by Pajamajan ( PRAY FOR OUR NATION. Never be a peaceful slave in a new socialist America.)
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To: EEGator

I tire of this. Cut that junk out


35 posted on 02/20/2022 5:27:01 PM PST by Recompennation (Don’t blame me my vote didn’t count )
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To: Huskrrrr
“Not that there’s anything long with that.”
36 posted on 02/20/2022 5:31:28 PM PST by Fightin Whitey
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To: Recompennation

I think you meant off. Cut that junk off.


37 posted on 02/20/2022 5:35:19 PM PST by EvilCapitalist (Merry Christmas Illhan!)
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To: Morgana

s’ok tis the BEE... DAMN THE BEE!!!

gets me alla time


38 posted on 02/20/2022 5:35:21 PM PST by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: tennmountainman

Even though this story is from a satire site it is most definitely true.


39 posted on 02/20/2022 5:42:04 PM PST by outpostinmass2
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To: Fightin Whitey

Lol!


40 posted on 02/20/2022 5:42:56 PM PST by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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