Skip to comments.
NIKE Releases New Women's Swimsuit With Extra Space For Male Genitalia
Babylon Bee ^
| Feburary 18, 2022
| Babylon Bee
Posted on 02/20/2022 4:30:22 PM PST by Morgana
BEAVERTON, OR—After carefully listening to feedback from a growing chorus of three of their customers, Nike is making some long-awaited improvements to their 2022 women's swimwear line. Nike's new "Performance Series" of one-piece competitive women's swimsuits will feature extra room in the crotch for male genitalia.
"We suddenly realized we weren't serving a very important segment of women competitors—those with male genitals," said Nike VP of Diversity and Inclusion Xandryx Bithrannamynx. "Now, women of all shapes and sizes will be able to compete in their favorite swim sports!"
Several product designers at NIKE questioned the decision, as the new swimsuits now fit much too loosely on 99.97% of female swimmers. Those product designers were immediately condemned as transphobes and fired—after which they were doxxed, removed from social media, frozen out of their bank accounts, condemned publically by President Biden, and beat up by a 327-pound trans woman named "Lila" before being dumped on the street to fend for themselves.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Sports
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; notfunny; satire; transgender; transswimmers
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20, 21-40, 41-52 next last
To: Morgana
21
posted on
02/20/2022 4:47:30 PM PST
by
SuperLuminal
(Where is another Sam Adams now that we desperately need him?)
To: Morgana
Don't laugh...
22
posted on
02/20/2022 4:51:12 PM PST
by
Bonemaker
(invictus maneo)
the Bee - always on the cutting edge of contemporary news.
23
posted on
02/20/2022 4:52:23 PM PST
by
RetiredTexasVet
(When Satan craps another demon possessed Progressive is born.)
To: EEGator
24
posted on
02/20/2022 4:52:46 PM PST
by
Vision
(Elections are one day. Reject "Chicago" vote harvesting. Election Reform Now. Obama is an evildoer.)
To: EEGator
Just stop heating the pools.
25
posted on
02/20/2022 4:57:11 PM PST
by
gundog
( It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
To: EEGator
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
26
posted on
02/20/2022 5:00:33 PM PST
by
Huskrrrr
(Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
To: Sarcazmo
Ooooooohhhh... you, you got me!
********************
We live in strange times when satire such as this is indistinguishable from reality.
To: gundog; Huskrrrr
Costanza level shrinkage. Poor Jami Gertz…
Though her real life husband is worth 6 billion dollars.
28
posted on
02/20/2022 5:08:05 PM PST
by
EEGator
To: EEGator
29
posted on
02/20/2022 5:09:55 PM PST
by
Magnetar
To: Levy78
A designer has that suit in the works for sure.
30
posted on
02/20/2022 5:11:47 PM PST
by
logi_cal869
(-cynicus the "concern troll" a/o 10/03/2018 /!i!! &@$%&*(@ -)
To: Magnetar
Who wore it better?
.
31
posted on
02/20/2022 5:12:10 PM PST
by
gundog
( It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
To: Magnetar
32
posted on
02/20/2022 5:13:17 PM PST
by
EEGator
To: Levy78
“I totally thought this was real”
Ditto. I mean, why wouldn’t they?
33
posted on
02/20/2022 5:20:17 PM PST
by
NobleFree
("law is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the right of an individual")
To: EEGator
😂 Anyone wanna bet someone will make these?
34
posted on
02/20/2022 5:26:39 PM PST
by
Pajamajan
( PRAY FOR OUR NATION. Never be a peaceful slave in a new socialist America.)
To: EEGator
I tire of this. Cut that junk out
35
posted on
02/20/2022 5:27:01 PM PST
by
Recompennation
(Don’t blame me my vote didn’t count )
To: Huskrrrr
“Not that there’s anything long with that.”
To: Recompennation
I think you meant off. Cut that junk off.
37
posted on
02/20/2022 5:35:19 PM PST
by
EvilCapitalist
(Merry Christmas Illhan!)
To: Morgana
s’ok tis the BEE... DAMN THE BEE!!!
gets me alla time
38
posted on
02/20/2022 5:35:21 PM PST
by
Chode
(there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
To: tennmountainman
Even though this story is from a satire site it is most definitely true.
To: Fightin Whitey
40
posted on
02/20/2022 5:42:56 PM PST
by
Huskrrrr
(Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20, 21-40, 41-52 next last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson
