Posted on 02/10/2022 8:17:31 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After the incredible success of his free crack pipe program, President Joe Biden has announced a new 80 billion-dollar program to provide every white suburban woman in America a set of free wine glasses.
"We want to help everyone cope with the pain and suffering wrought by mysterious forces completely unrelated to the Biden Administration," said Press Secretary Jen Psaki while taking a swig of Chardonnay from a government-issued crystal glass. "If you drown your sorrows in wine, or crack, or whatever, it'll make the next 3 years go by much quicker!"
Sources say that after confirming citizens' gender and whiteness level, the government will send a free set of 8 glasses to suburban women, white Karens, wine mommies, and furbaby mommas across the country.
Psaki confirmed the details of the new program. "As a real human president who is really smart and alive and who understands common people, he wants to make sure the white women all have wine glasses so they can drink in style," she said. "And wine glasses are way classier than drinking straight out of the wine box most women hide in their bathroom cabinet."
At publishing time, Biden's support among Oenophiles dropped as they were upset to receive glasses unsuitable for red wine.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
I drink my wine out of a Disney World 2000 Celebration glass that was given away by McDonald’s way back when.
I figure it’s been in the dishwasher about 6000 times, and is still as bright and sturdy as new.
i need a new beer mug, please Joe are you paying attention?!
I’d drink straight out of the bottle before I’d take anything from that old lech!!!
He would never do this, white women are not to be trusted to vote democrat. Their racist husbands might have some influence.
But he could throw them a sop, I suppose, if Psuckit suggested it....
It is all just pandering to that fraud and his masters.
ROTFLMAO
“If you drown your sorrows in wine, or crack, or whatever, it’ll make the next 3 years go by much quicker!”
And there is the seed of truth that all good satire rests upon. :)
Hillary Clinton followers can opt for eight 1-gallon plastic jugs instead.
Why put it in the dishwasher?
Alcohol kills germs.
Or put a mask on the glass.
Drinking kits?
Also known as "sock wine," "jungle juice," or simply "squeeze," Sterno is a popular intoxicant among a significant segment of our population of derelicts, hobos, and vagrants.
The Biden Administration should provide millions of kits, equipped with cheesecloth, fruit juice, and cans of Sterno!
It's our Constitutional right!
Regards,
This is hysterical! Thanks, TSR... for starting my day with a good laugh! :)
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