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Washington Commanders Unveil New Mascot ‘General Custer’
The Babylon Bee ^ | 2-3-2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/03/2022 10:57:06 AM PST by servo1969

SUMMERFIELD, MD—The Washington Football Team changed its name this week, finalizing a year-long transition from 'Redskins' to 'Commanders.' Along with the shiny new name, the team announced a brand new mascot: General George Custer.

"We wanted a mascot that would represent the ultimate commander," said team owner Dan Snyder. "Someone the fans could rally behind as we make our last stand on defense."

General Custer, who famously said, "There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry," will be on the sidelines every game to cheer on the Commanders with the crowd.

Native American leaders have been critical of the new mascot. "Commanders is vague enough to be inoffensive, but this mascot makes everything worse. Custer was famous for reveling in the slaughter of native tribes," said Chief Rolling Hamster. "I'd prefer they call themselves the Redskins at this point."

Notable Indigenous Person Elizabeth Warren also expressed her disgust. "That you would parade a white man mascot around instead of a Native American is abhorrent. Are you saying Native Americans can't be commanders? I'm tired of rich white people making these decisions!" she lamented from her mansion in Cambridge.

According to sources, fans in and around the nation's capital just want to enjoy some football for once in their lives.


TOPICS: Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: babylon; commanders; redskins; satire
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To: bigbob

Hail to the Commies,
Hail, Victory!
Braves* on the Warpath*
Fight for old D.C.!

Obviously the 3rd line needs to be reworked.


41 posted on 02/03/2022 1:15:29 PM PST by scrabblehack
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To: servo1969

So close. It should have been “General Cluster”...


42 posted on 02/03/2022 1:16:22 PM PST by OrangeHoof (Chinese communism will look different once the masks come off.)
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To: bigbob
The Washington COmmanders will become a laughingstock as soon as “The Washington Commies” takes hold...give it a day or two.

Plus, "Washington Commies" fits well with their baseball team, the "Washington Nazis"...

;>)

43 posted on 02/03/2022 1:17:22 PM PST by Who is John Galt? ("Shoeless Joe" played for the White Sox; "Clueless Joe" lives in the White House...)
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To: CommerceComet
Yep.

People who are fighting for their families will be utterly vicious.

44 posted on 02/03/2022 1:33:46 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (add a dab of lavender in milk, leave town with an orange and pretend you're laughing with it)
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To: BradyLS
LOL! "A bad dude?"
"Quite."
45 posted on 02/03/2022 2:00:12 PM PST by dead (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_vFiUUcBkc)
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To: jjotto
Seems like the Bee is reeling in a bunch with this one.

Yep, ha! :-)

46 posted on 02/03/2022 2:05:31 PM PST by tomkat
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To: Pikachu_Dad

Like Milley did in Afghanistan! Some things never change!


47 posted on 02/03/2022 3:20:17 PM PST by SgtHooper (If you remember the 60's, YOU WEREN'T THERE!)
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To: servo1969

One of the most arrogant blowhards our military ever had.
“An insufferable @$$” as described by General Brisbin.


48 posted on 02/03/2022 3:41:32 PM PST by Roman_War_Criminal (Jesus + Something = Nothing ; Jesus + Nothing = Everything )
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To: SgtHooper

Naw, Milley is not fit to wipe General Custers boots !

General Lee really did ‘throw in the towel’.

He had Captain R. M. Sims deliver the surrender towel to General Custer at Appomattox Court House.


49 posted on 02/03/2022 4:08:24 PM PST by Pikachu_Dad ("the media are selling you a line of soap)
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To: servo1969

Custer won’t last.

May I suggest Kit Carson? Or Nelson Miles?


50 posted on 02/03/2022 4:13:23 PM PST by Jim Noble (The nation cannot be saved until the GOP is destroyed)
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To: servo1969

You had one job... you couldn’t hose it up, it was that important.


51 posted on 02/03/2022 6:09:17 PM PST by Clutch Martin (The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.)
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