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CNN Reports On 'Deadly Boat Accident' At Pearl Harbor
Babylon Bee ^ | 11/25/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/25/2021 11:59:44 AM PST by BipolarBob

HONOLULU, HI—CNN and other mainstream news outlets are reporting on a "tragic, completely accidental" boating accident at Pearl Harbor. As details still come in, CNN is urging people to not rush to judgment or assign blame until the story goes away in a few days.

"Such a tragic and completely accidental boating accident," said one news anchor. "The thing that's so sad about it is the tragic, totally random accidentalness of it. Our hearts are with the victims and whatever. Anyway, in other news..."

Independent journalists from the scene are sending messages that this was an intentional attack by the Empire of Japan that was designed to inflict as much destruction and casualty as possible. Such messages have been dismissed as unfounded and racist, and likely linked to recent increases in anti-Asian hate crimes.

"We do not need to investigate this any further, or talk about it ever again, as it was an accident," said the local Police Chief in a press conference. "Any talk of motive is unhelpful at this time. I think what's really important is allowing our Pearl Harbor community to heal."

CNN then quickly transitioned to a news story about the latest Cary Grant movie.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: associatedpress; babylonbee; clintonnonnews; cnn; cnnblows; criticalracetheory; godsgravesglyphs; hawaii; japan; mediawingofthednc; partisanmediashill; partisanmediashills; pearlharbor; project1619; worldwareleven
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Accidents happen. We shouldn't judge. All cultures are alike.
1 posted on 11/25/2021 11:59:44 AM PST by BipolarBob
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To: BipolarBob

2 posted on 11/25/2021 12:01:22 PM PST by BipolarBob (I thought growing old would take longer.)
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To: BipolarBob

I miss the days when vigilante justice would have taken care of the perp from Waukesha.


3 posted on 11/25/2021 12:03:18 PM PST by EvilCapitalist (Pets are no substitute for children.)
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To: BipolarBob

Very similar to how I lost my guns.


4 posted on 11/25/2021 12:03:45 PM PST by ClearCase_guy (Alec Baldwin has killed more people than the Jan 6 protesters. And he will serve less jail time.)
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To: EvilCapitalist

You can’t always count on an honest Rittenhouse jury.


5 posted on 11/25/2021 12:04:25 PM PST by BipolarBob (I thought growing old would take longer.)
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To: BipolarBob

That never would have happened except for those Japanese airplanes. All airplanes must be banned worldwide. To send a message, the U.S. must ban all its airplanes now./s


6 posted on 11/25/2021 12:07:44 PM PST by Wilhelm Tell (True or False? This is not a tag line.)
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To: BipolarBob

how about the tragic plane crashes in Sept 11th?

Or the tragic farm accident at Antietam in Sept 1862?


7 posted on 11/25/2021 12:09:17 PM PST by euram
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To: euram

It’s all speculation on how these spineless lying liberal media would spin it. I try not to dwell on these scum.


8 posted on 11/25/2021 12:11:50 PM PST by BipolarBob (I thought growing old would take longer.)
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To: BipolarBob

Some people did something I guess.

Just want to say…my Dad was in Pearl Harbor on Dec 7, 1941. At Schofield barracks getting his breakfast when all hell broke loose. Whenever I asked him about it he’d just say “yep”. Conversation over.

After WWll he was off for Korea. Then 2 tours in Vietnam. He retired a master Sargent after 27 years. Now in Arl Nat’l.

This BB isn’t far from the truth when it comes to liberal opinions of such atrocities. M-fers.


9 posted on 11/25/2021 12:11:52 PM PST by albie
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To: BipolarBob

I find little humor in this BB. Love them usually but this isn’t funny.


10 posted on 11/25/2021 12:13:23 PM PST by albie
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To: BipolarBob

Have they or the KeystoneBI discovered a motive yet?


11 posted on 11/25/2021 12:14:46 PM PST by bray (Our patience is wearing thin Joe)
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To: BipolarBob

12 posted on 11/25/2021 12:15:51 PM PST by max americana (FIRED LEFTARD employees at our office every election since 2008 and enjoyed seeing them cry.)
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To: albie

No, it isn’t funny. I just posted it to prove a point. The media is NOT your friend and will sell this country down the river in a heartbeat. They will, lie accuse and incite to divide this country. Ask Nicholas Sandmann or Kyle Rittenhouse. Your father fought for this country but it wasn’t this shell of a country. This country is dying day by day, lie by liberal media lie.


13 posted on 11/25/2021 12:19:29 PM PST by BipolarBob (I thought growing old would take longer.)
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To: Wilhelm Tell

And the airplanes had guns on them! It was gun violence!


14 posted on 11/25/2021 12:21:02 PM PST by Still Thinking (Freedom is NOT a loophole!)
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To: BipolarBob

Should have waited until December 7th.


15 posted on 11/25/2021 12:22:52 PM PST by Night Hides Not (Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad! Remember Gonzales! Come and Take It!)
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To: max americana

16 posted on 11/25/2021 12:24:07 PM PST by Lonesome in Massachussets (Diana Moon Glampers for Secretary of Education! )
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To: BipolarBob

The American Navy had the audacity to dock their weapons of mass destruction at Pearl Harbor, interfering with Japan’s access to better fishing grounds.


17 posted on 11/25/2021 12:27:41 PM PST by mass55th ("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne )
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To: albie

I can’t blame your Dad for not wanting to talk. Sean Hannity’s radio show used to have a regular caller named Marty who called in near the end of his show. Marty was a actual D-Day veteran who passed in 2008.

One day, Sean asked Marty if he could relate any details of his D-Day experience. Marty refused, except to say that sometimes he would think about it and end up bawling. And that was the end of that discussion.


18 posted on 11/25/2021 12:43:28 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Florida: America's new free zone.)
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To: albie

The Bee can sometimes be offensively Howard Sternian in its humor.

I’ve seen Bee stories that I’ve refused to post here, because I figured they would not be taken well.


19 posted on 11/25/2021 12:45:45 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Florida: America's new free zone.)
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Masterminded by Yamamoto, the austere religious scholar. (per the Washington Post)


20 posted on 11/25/2021 12:48:02 PM PST by RightWingNutJob69
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