Posted on 09/14/2021 6:49:32 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
SACRAMENTO, CA—According to sources, California governor Gavin Newsom was recently seen by several witnesses in a dark back alley throwing a gorilla suit and a carton of rotten eggs in the trash.
The Newsom campaign released a statement assuring the public these things had absolutely nothing to do with the woman wearing a gorilla mask who threw eggs at Larry Elder the other day.
"Yeah, nothing unusual about this," said Newsom to curious onlookers. "This is just my weekly trip to the garbage to throw away eggs and gorilla suits. I like dressing as a gorilla sometimes, ok? Nothing weird about that! Plus, I like to buy a new one each week so I'm always wearing a fresh one. Totally normal!"
An anonymous source within the campaign claimed that Newsom had planned a racist attack on Larry Elder, but a crazy lady near a homeless camp had stolen his thunder, and he had to think of something else.
"Nope! Nothin' like that!" Newsom confirmed to reporters. "Vote for me! Because, you know... just vote for me, ok?" Newsom then dove through a window and ran out of sight.
If you can’t believe “an anonymous source” who can you trust?
I’m on to you Bee, knew it was you by the headline. Good one!!
These days, when you see a headline like this, there’s only a 50-50 chance it’s the Babylon Bee.
+1 :)
It’s outrageous that we still don’t know the name of this psycho or the University where she teaches.
It sounds like something childish Newsom would do good job Babylon Bee.
LOL!
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