Posted on 08/22/2021 11:31:13 AM PDT by sodpoodle
I was standing at the bar at the Legion post one night minding my own business when this FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind, and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number? I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen". I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you." Cost me 6 stitches...but When you're over seventy.............who cares?
I went to the drug store and told the clerk ... "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please." Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"; I said "Nah...She's pretty good lookin'..." When you're over seventy............who cares?
I was talking to a young woman at the Legion last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave, and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."; Cost me a fat lip, but... When you're over seventy............who cares?
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts. "Really," she said, "Go on then... try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" I said, "Yesterday." Cost me a kick in the groin, but... When you're over seventy.............who cares?
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in. When you're over seventy.............who cares?
I went to our Legion last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs." The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. When you're over seventy.............who cares!
I probably sent this to you before. When you're over seventy............. WHO CARES??!!!
Saved
Huh?
Huh? Clint who?
That provoked a neuron or two! Though I'm a ham these days, I do remember that honkin BIG CB handheld! That thought led me to remembering C W McCall and his great CONVOY song of 1975! You almost have to be near 70 to remember "55 and stay alive"!
Thanks for the trip!
I am not over 70 yet but those jokes are just what is needed right now
When you’re over seventy who cares??
I needed some chuckles today
Yeah, I hit 70 this year. Still haven’t gotten my ham shack back up, but hope to do it before the snow flies
East bound and down, loaded up and trucking, we gonna do what they say can’t be done.
I’m 70. Our Legion post has been closed down for several years. Used to be a pretty fun place; but then some of the younger guys (i.e., not old farts like me) thought they could run it “like it should be, like a modern club,” and they got their wish. Like I said, it’s been closed now for several years.
ROFL on the first one!
Thou shalt not sell Colorado Kool-aid east of the Mississippi! Burt, Jerry, Jackie & Sally AND several Trans-Ams! Best free commercial ever for the late GM Pontiac brand!
Saving these for when I’m over seventy, but who cares?
Hmmm...
When I was in my 70’s, I was just as young as I was at 50... Physically & mentally...
It’s when you get into your 80’s that age can begin to creep in...
However, I am still looking forward as I roll up on 88 in 3-months...
Then, when Harris is elected to her second term, I can start bitching about being in my 90’s...
I lack 2 years being 70, I past being pensive (a good time ago).
I advise laying it on heavy and the more the push back the more brutal the diatribe.
I turned 70 earlier this year.
I was the last passenger getting aboard a crowded flight back to Florida recently. As I was man-handling my carry-on into the overhead bin, a very attractive woman in her thirties asked me in a loud voice if I would swap with her husband.
I knew she meant the assigned seats, but I answered her anyway, “Sure, Honey. But who gets custody of the kids?”
The cabin erupted in laughter so loud that they had to stop the pre-flight announcements. Her husband was less than pleased but even she had to smile.
Well...when you’re 70, who cares. )
👍🏻👍🏻
Forwarded...
Ok - I will buy you a beer for that one - free popcorn if the bartender decides to make it.
PS - The women playing Bingo are dead serious and would break your jaw with one punch if you interrupted their game!
Biden: When America goes to shlt and my family and I have stolen so much money and acted stupid all my life to be a great role model for my son Hunter... who cares, I’m over 70!
I heard those jokes for “people” over 80...still funny and who cares? Thanks for the humor reminder.
Him and Obama first.
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