"Who will help me eat this bread?" asked the little red hen.
"I'll allow you to keep a crust," said President Biden as he took the loaf from the kulak klucker, a capitalist exploiter of the working class.
Posted on 05/12/2021 6:44:45 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
The world is full of sinister voices, always trying to lure your children toward extremist, far-right ideas. How can you protect your kids from growing up to be literally Hitler-- or worse-- Ben Shapiro? We did several minutes of research and found the 7 books you must avoid at all costs:
1. The Bible: This deeply problematic book teaches that all human beings are of one race, with only two genders, made in the image of God. Yeesh. Not a good look, God.
2. Any math book: Math is a gateway drug into the white supremacist idea of "either/or" thinking. It starts with 2+2=4, and ends with your kid microaggressing her non-binary classmate. Stay away!
3. The works of Shakespeare: We don't know much about Shakespeare because he uses big words so we never read him. We know this much though: he was a white cis-male. We recommend a comic book by Ta-Nehisi Coates instead.
4. If You Give A Mouse A Cookie: This deeply anti-communist work criticizes the welfare state and reeks of white supremacy. It also smacks of bigotry. It's rare for a book to both reek and smack like that.
5. The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe: Indoctrinates kids into Christianity, and shames women from being Witches/feminists.
6. Are You My Mother?: REEEEEEE!
7. The Tuttle Twins: Kids who read these books have been known to grow into virtuous, productive citizens. How is the government going to grow bigger if everyone is a virtuous, productive citizen? Sounds pretty counterproductive to us.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
This has to be one of the best of the Bee.
It’s best to just stick to the classics. Like “Heather has two mommies”.
bttt
The Bee is the wind beneath my face diaper, or something like that.
If you buy “Heather Has Two Mommies” from Amazon today, you can get “Daddy’s Roommate” and “Bi Bi Bernie” for half price!
I can appreciate satire, but mocking the Bible and God is, well, beyond the line, at least as I see it.
What a bargain. Thanks.
I’d been one of those kids that would have carried a copy of Atlas Shrugged around to annoy those witch doctor educators back then if I knew how much grief it could cause.
However, I did keep copies of James Burke’s Connections and Day The Universe Changed on hand. Those drove the airhead US history teacher nuts.
I hear you, but I don’t believe that God or the Bible is mocked here.
Especially the Wolf and the Lamb.
“A tyrant will always find a pretext for his tyranny Fauci.”
Slight edit.
Rush Revere didn’t make the list!
"Who will help me eat this bread?" asked the little red hen.
"I'll allow you to keep a crust," said President Biden as he took the loaf from the kulak klucker, a capitalist exploiter of the working class.
But wait! There's more! If you order now we'll double your order, just pay a separate shipping and handling fee!
And if you're one of the first one hundred callers we'll send you absolutely free a set of Ginsu Steak Knives that have been hermetically sealed since 1984! Don't delay, call now!!
The Bee hit another out of the park... Love it!!
I don't think that was mocking. Progressive libtards do in fact believe the Bible is dangerous. One of the things about satire is that it's often very true and the Babylon Bee is a master at it.
God has a sense of humor.
If he had no sense of humor, He would never have punished the Philistines with hemorrhoids.
I think the Palestinians might be due for some humor too.
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