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The Babylon Bee Guide To Choosing Safer Activities
The Babylon Bee ^
| 4-27-2021
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 04/27/2021 9:08:24 PM PDT by servo1969
The CDC recently released a guide showing you when to wear a mask for indoor and outdoor activities. It was a reckless, irresponsible thing to do since it depicted some outdoor activities in which it's ok for vaccinated people to not wear a mask. This is literally murder. We here at the Babylon Bee have created a much safer guide that will help you make the right decisions because, unlike the CDC, we actually care about people.
Here you go!
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylon; babylonbee; bee; cdc; guidelines; guidence; mask; satire
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Actual CDC guidence released today:
1
posted on
04/27/2021 9:08:24 PM PDT
by
servo1969
To: servo1969
Must suck to live in a constant state of fear (not you servo).
2
posted on
04/27/2021 9:13:03 PM PDT
by
wastedyears
(The left would kill every single one of us and our families if they knew they could get away with it)
To: servo1969
People have too much tI’m on their hands...this is ridiculous...micromanaging adult behaviors
3
posted on
04/27/2021 9:14:33 PM PDT
by
goodnesswins
(The issue is never the issue. The issue is always the revolution." -- Saul Alinksy)
To: servo1969
CDC is a joke, I didnt know until today that I was supposed to wear a mask outdoors.
To: goodnesswins
“micromanaging adult behaviors”
This is aimed at infantile adults who want more, more, more and MORE government to tell them what to do every single day about every aspect of their lives.
5
posted on
04/27/2021 9:17:42 PM PDT
by
ProtectOurFreedom
(Real happiness is one that you share)
To: servo1969
The infantilization of society. It’s part of their plan.
6
posted on
04/27/2021 9:17:42 PM PDT
by
TigersEye
(Will the Younger Dryas Impact you? )
To: ProtectOurFreedom
It is probably not a coincidence that we both posted at exactly the same time. :)
7
posted on
04/27/2021 9:19:03 PM PDT
by
TigersEye
(Will the Younger Dryas Impact you? )
To: wastedyears
"Must suck to live in a constant state of fear (not you servo)."
Oh, yeah. I feel for people living in that State. But hang in there. Don't move! ;D
8
posted on
04/27/2021 9:21:19 PM PDT
by
familyop
(Only here for the tales from the rubber room.)
To: servo1969; Salamander
You mean the vaccine only gets me TWO extra things I can do without a mask!?!!
What would we do without the CDC? Wither..die?
9
posted on
04/27/2021 9:21:28 PM PDT
by
DoodleBob
(Gravity's waiting period is about 9.8 m/s^2)
To: servo1969
10
posted on
04/27/2021 9:22:30 PM PDT
by
Kickass Conservative
(Don't blame me, I Voted for the guy who actually Won the 2020 Presidential Election...)
To: TigersEye
LOL...never saw that happen down to the very second!
As they say, GMTA!
11
posted on
04/27/2021 9:23:11 PM PDT
by
ProtectOurFreedom
(“If we were in a real pandemic, there’d be no need to declare it.”)
To: MinorityRepublican
Neither did I - and have stopped wearing one indoors too. Having a new shirt made that says ‘Make A Dental Appointment Before Axing About My Mask’.
To: Whenifhow; null and void; aragorn; EnigmaticAnomaly; kalee; Kale; AZ .44 MAG; Baynative; bgill; ...
13
posted on
04/27/2021 10:00:48 PM PDT
by
bitt
(People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.)
To: servo1969
To: ProtectOurFreedom
I think I saw that happen once before. Years ago.
As they say, GMTA!
Yes, they do! :)
We're totally acing the bullseye. It's Idiocracy by design.
15
posted on
04/27/2021 10:48:37 PM PDT
by
TigersEye
(Will the Younger Dryas Impact you? )
To: servo1969
We are no longer required to wear masks in this town, but some people still do.
16
posted on
04/27/2021 10:54:22 PM PDT
by
dsc
(Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito.)
To: MinorityRepublican
CDC is a joke, I didnt know until today that I was supposed to wear a mask outdoors.
While I was at the gym today, I saw an interview of a silly woman on one of the communist news networks who was saying "I'm so happy that the mask restrictions have loosened up! Now we can do more stuff outdoors!"
I was floored by the implications of it. If I believed that the Chinese COVID Lung Herpes was dangerous enough to make me wear a mask outside, I wouldn't give a damn if some egghead in DC suddenly said "Hey! You can go without masks outside!" It wouldn't occur to me to ignore presumed health risks because of some egghead in DC.
Likewise, if I thought that the Chinese COVID masks thing was a joke (which I do), then no dumbass egghead in DC would get me to wear one outside, or wherever, just by issuing an edict.
Yet this woman completely made her assessment of risk based on the proclamations of some invisible a-holes from DC, and literally lived and died by them, never ONCE taking responsibility for her own health, safety, or behavior.
We now live amongst docile sheep, waiting to be sheared. And the shearer cometh. Oh yes, the shearer cometh.
17
posted on
04/27/2021 11:13:56 PM PDT
by
fr_freak
To: servo1969
According to the handy CDC chart, literally nothing changes with the new guidance for any seen people. I mean that based on the fact that no normal person was Wearing a mask outside, and they still say going to eat at a restaurant is a dangerous activity, etc. Even if you’ve had the vaccine.
18
posted on
04/27/2021 11:19:45 PM PDT
by
matt04
( )
To: MinorityRepublican
Who in the hell would have ever thought you were expected to wear a mask OUTSIDE, Biteme said today that IF you were fully vaccinated you no longer had to wear a mask OUTSIDE!! GIVE ME A DAMN BREAK these bastards really think we are this stupid, I will NEVER wear a mask outside AND I will NEVER put that stinking vaccine in my body!!
To: MinorityRepublican; servo1969; goodnesswins
20
posted on
04/28/2021 12:11:02 AM PDT
by
4Liberty
(Honest GOP can’t use legal options cause Dems use illegal ones (threats). The Robert Creamer Party! )
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