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Blonde Men
email from friend | 02/22/2021 | unknown

Posted on 02/22/2021 9:51:14 AM PST by sodpoodle

Blonde men - well FINALLY, it just had to come sooner or later!

A blonde man is in the bathroom, and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine.

A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND." He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart." "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor. "No! " he shouts, "this is her husband!"

A blonde man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet." Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks. "Hanging myself," the blonde replies. "The rope should be around your neck," says the guard." I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backward off their boats? To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

A friend told the blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blonde man then said, "Let's hope it's not the13th."

Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: blond; revenge
Bleach is better;)
1 posted on 02/22/2021 9:51:14 AM PST by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

A blond guy does his research of all the candidates, and then still votes democrat!


2 posted on 02/22/2021 9:56:17 AM PST by shoff (Vote Democrat it beats thinking!)
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To: sodpoodle

You just made my day - thanks (-:


3 posted on 02/22/2021 9:56:50 AM PST by QBFimi (It is not your responsibility to finish the work of perfecting the world... Tarfon)
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To: shoff

good one;)


4 posted on 02/22/2021 9:57:04 AM PST by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

Let’s all get offended.


5 posted on 02/22/2021 9:58:04 AM PST by Vehmgericht (12)
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To: sodpoodle
"If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

Well, duh...

6 posted on 02/22/2021 9:59:07 AM PST by Billthedrill
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To: sodpoodle

These are very good jokes.


7 posted on 02/22/2021 10:00:39 AM PST by SamAdams76 (By stealing Trump's second term, the Left gets Trump for 8 more years instead of just four.)
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To: sodpoodle

A blonde man is in the bathroom, and his wife shouts: “Did you find the shampoo?” He answers, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do... it’s for dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine.


A blond man is in the shower and shouts to his wife to bring him the shampoo. She comes in and says “I just put a new bottle in there this morning”.

The blond man says “yeah, I know, but the instructions said ‘Lather, rinse, repeat’ and I ran out”.


8 posted on 02/22/2021 10:00:44 AM PST by nesnah (Liberals - the petulant children of politics)
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To: sodpoodle

Why do some blonde women have bruised belly buttons?

Because blonde guys are dumb too.


9 posted on 02/22/2021 10:14:16 AM PST by Deepeasttx ( Sensitivity/diversity training sessions are just reeducation camps without walls....for now.)
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To: Deepeasttx

Badda-Bing!


10 posted on 02/22/2021 10:19:07 AM PST by lee martell
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To: sodpoodle
Funny, now...


11 posted on 02/22/2021 10:23:46 AM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: Deepeasttx

Why do blondes have more fun?

They are easier to find in the dark.


12 posted on 02/22/2021 10:29:13 AM PST by MikeSteelBe (We will be safe from terror when we treat Islam like postwar Germany treated Nazism)
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To: sodpoodle

Can’t offend women.


13 posted on 02/22/2021 10:29:21 AM PST by bray (Pray for fake President Biden)
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To: sodpoodle

Thanks for the laughs. Needed them.


14 posted on 02/22/2021 10:29:38 AM PST by Exit148
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To: sodpoodle

My sister told me how to tell the difference between a blonde man and a blonde woman. The blonde woman has a higher sperm count.


15 posted on 02/22/2021 10:38:06 AM PST by Old Student (As I watch the balkanization of our nation I realize that Robert A. Heinlein was a prophet. )
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To: Old Student

16 posted on 02/22/2021 11:46:30 AM PST by Carpe Cerevisi
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To: sodpoodle
They say blondes have more fun buy I think brunettes *are* more fun.
(Except in jokes.)
(I'm blonde and my wife has long dark hair so I can get away with this.)

17 posted on 02/22/2021 2:07:15 PM PST by BitWielder1 (I'd rather have Unequal Wealth than Equal Poverty.)
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To: Old Student

You owe me a new keyboard!


18 posted on 02/22/2021 3:35:17 PM PST by sima_yi ( Reporting live from the far North)
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To: shoff

Not this blonde guy!!!


19 posted on 02/23/2021 5:34:23 AM PST by Stayingawayfromthedarkside (Look, is it America that I see again?)
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