Posted on 02/19/2021 10:58:03 AM PST by SJackson
ALASKAPublished 17 hours ago
Brown bears are typically dormant during the winter – but they don’t go into a 'true hibernation'
In the wilderness, you need to watch your butt sometimes.
An Alaska woman camping with her brother near Chilkat Lake over the weekend nearly had to kiss hers goodbye when she encountered a bear in the outhouse, she told a local radio station.
"I got in there and sat down on the toilet seat, and something just immediately bit me in the butt," Shannon Stevens told the Haines, Alaska-based KHNS Wednesday. "I jumped up and screamed."
The commotion got the attention of her brother, Erik Stevens, who said he ran over to the outhouse.
"I take the headlamp and I grab the lid of the toilet seat and I lift it up," he told the station. "Right at the level of the toilet seat, maybe an inch or two below, is a gigantic bear face looking right back up at me."
The duo ran back to shelter, cleaned up Shannon’s injuries, which were not serious, and hunkered down for the night, the Anchorage Daily News reported. The next morning, they found tracks leading from their campfire to the outhouse, but the bear itself was gone.
They said the animal may have entered below the outhouse through a downhill opening and made its way toward the seat.
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
I always look before taking a seat. Worried about a snake or hornets, but at least I'd see a bear.
Nope! They use the outhouse! ;-)
At one point, for a few years, we had a three hole outhouse.
I went out to use it in the night, and since the moon was out, didn't turn on my flashlight to save batteries.
After sitting down over the middle hole, I heard a gnawing on wood sound to my left. I turned on the flashlight and looked into the beady eyes of a large porcupine.
Was I ever glad I hadn't sat on that hole! Went back to the house, got a .22, shot the thing, and it fell in.
Smelled worse in there for a few weeks.
Lewis Grizzard (RIP) wrote about a grandma who went to the outhouse...
There was a wasp nest under the seat...Granny sat down a wasp stung her....
They heard a scream and looked out...Saw granny running out of the outhouse with her bloomers around her knees and she was screaming “Lord help me!!! I’ve been bit by a shit snake!!!!”
Just about the time when Justice ‘Thomas was undergoing the Amiga Hill libels, Guam was overrun with a plague of Brown Tree Snakes. That caused me to think of him making a state visit to Guam, needing to answer the call of nature at night while still somewhat fuzzy, and seeing one of the things emerge from the commode between his legs. Being somewhat surprised, he remarked, “OMG, I knew I had a good one, but THAT GOOD!”
Not the same cute bears on the annoying toilet paper commercials?
the bear just wanted a good rump roast
lol
It scared me more than hurt me and when I think of what could have been bitten {off}, I just shudder.
The folks I was fishing with had a great laugh, and if it didn't happen to me, I'd have laughed {my bit ass off}.
Bears occupy outhouses???
Was I ever glad I hadn’t sat on that hole! Went back to the house, got a .22, shot the thing, and it fell in.
__________________________________________________
My teacher friend did the same thing to a rooster that
attacked her children. Farm girl. Good shot,
2 extra for the fun of it.
I am proud of you. I would have screamed bloody murder and
never went to the “can” again w/o a shrink.
After having a test drill for oil fail, a hillbilly family wondered over the hole what it could be used for. They settled on putting the outhouse over it. A hole 250 feet deep will last years they exclaimed.
A week later Aunt Sally found Uncle Zeb dead on the floor in the outhouse. Aunt Sally in mourning said: “Yep, Zeb always was one to hold his breath’til he heard the kerplunk.”
She was fortunate that it wasn’t a moose...
Being bit in the Gluteus Maximus is a real thing...
Was the bear’s name Karma?
I heard a story once about some US servicemen using surplus fuel to burn out the pit under their latrines in order to “freshen them up”. Apparently an officer didn’t want to listen to the advice of an enlisted man, and was sitting in the outhouse when the fuel was lit. He too ran out with his shorts around his knees.
The bear was okay with the view, until she crapped all over his face.
One Easter I bought my Granny a pink dyed chick. It grew into a mean rooster that occasionally held me hostage in the out house.
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