Posted on 01/06/2021 11:05:50 AM PST by sodpoodle
Am I Getting To THAT Age??? I found this timely because today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. A young girl with a tattoo and green hair walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today?" I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond, had that deer in the headlights look.
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" I just say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance."
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he knows when he's really in trouble.
Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs?"
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've travelled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.
May you always have: Love to share, Cash to spare, Tires with air, And friends who care.
A teacher goes around in her class asking each of the kids what they need at home.
Joey says, “A computer.”
The teacher replies, “That would be very useful.”
Jenny says, “A new lawn mower.”
The teacher again replies, “That would also be very useful.”
Little Johnny pops up and says, “At my house we don't need anything!”
The teacher asks him to think again carefully, as everybody needs something.
Little Johnny replies, “No, I'm sure we don't. When Biden was elected, I clearly remember my dad saying, ‘Well, that's the last f**king thing we needed!’”
“I’m interested in buying a refrigerator.”
Nice. I’m going to use that first chance I get.
I am nearing age 81, and can still fit in my wedding suit from age 25. Losing weight is easy if you keep your metabolism high. And only way to that is daily exercise.
The Patriots in DC make me proud to be an American. They are huddling in there offices and in the Capitol.
What a coincidence! I was in a Wal-Mart store today that sells only Cheap Chinese crap, nothing else..............
Just yesterday, I was in a store and one of the clerks was a young woman with short, bright-green hair. I went to another store and two of the clerks were young women, one with bright rose-pink hair, the other with purple hair. None of them seemed very happy, but maybe their masks just made it seem that way.
You will probably have as much luck getting a refrigerator at a shoe store as an appliance store. We are 3 months on back order and no refrigerator in sight.
T
The patriots have stormed the Capital and it is on lock down and the senators and representatives have been cleared for the meeting areas. They are running like the rats that they are sacred as they should be.
The patriots have stormed the Capital and it is on lock down and the senators and representatives have been cleared for the meeting areas. They are running like the rats that they are sacred as they should be.
I wouldn’t call that bunch “sacred” . . .
TMI, sir.
When ever my cell phone or land line phone rings I say “Hello’’.
Often I’ll have the person at the other end say “Who’s this?’’
I reply “I don’t know. I can’t see you’’ and I hang up.
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