Skip to comments.
California Declares Christmas Caroling A Felony
Babylon Bee ^
| 12/18/2020
| Babylon Bee
Posted on 12/21/2020 8:28:21 AM PST by BipolarBob
SACRAMENTO, CA—California has leveraged one of its recent emergency declarations to declare Christmas caroling a felony.
Christmas caroling is now punishable by 25 years in prison, as it's detrimental to the public health. In addition to being a potential super-spreader of COVID, Governor Gavin Newsom says he "hates singing" and wishes people would just "cut it out with all the jolliness and joy."
"Dangerous gangs of outlaws going door to door singing loudly -- this must stop," said Gavin Newsom. "The SCIENCE! says we must wear masks when singing and sing only beneath a standard speaking voice, and these deranged lunatics are going from house to house just shouting COVID all over people's faces."
"Furthermore, they are singing insurrectionist lyrics about some 'King' who has come to overthrow the earthly governments. I don't know who this guy is, but this is a clear case of sedition. I'm in charge here!"
Several county sheriffs have already said they will not enforce the law, causing Newsom to question whether they are agents of this coming King.
TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor; Religion
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; caroling
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-31 next last
When asked if this was unConstitutional as it was aimed at Christians caroling. GrueSome replied. #1 That's not my main constituency or concern #2 This also applies to yodelers and other singers. In fact singing anywhere anytime is not allowed unless it's rappers belting out BLM messages and anti-white themes. Those are okay because those people are oppressed.
To: BipolarBob
Killer Bee strikes again :)
2
posted on
12/21/2020 8:30:39 AM PST
by
Magnum44
(My comprehensive terrorism plan: Hunt them down and kill them.)
To: BipolarBob
not far from the truth....
To: BipolarBob
4
posted on
12/21/2020 8:30:54 AM PST
by
khelus
To: BipolarBob
"Furthermore, they are singing insurrectionist lyrics about some 'King' who has come to overthrow the earthly governments. I don't know who this guy is, but this is a clear case of sedition. I'm in charge here!" This just isn't satire. It's a direct quote from the mind of every Leftist politician. :)
5
posted on
12/21/2020 8:31:17 AM PST
by
Mr. Jeeves
([CTRL]-[GALT]-[DELETE])
To: BipolarBob
I actually thought this was a straight news story until I got to the end of the second paragraph.
6
posted on
12/21/2020 8:32:06 AM PST
by
SamAdams76
(Orange Man GOOD!)
To: Mr. Jeeves
They literally don’t know Who this Guy is.
7
posted on
12/21/2020 8:32:47 AM PST
by
BipolarBob
(Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you ammo. That's pretty much the same thing.)
To: BipolarBob
They cannot declare anything a felony.
8
posted on
12/21/2020 8:39:19 AM PST
by
Safrguns
To: BipolarBob
Believe it or not, the Swiss Federal Government has actually outlawed singing due to Covid ...
9
posted on
12/21/2020 8:40:43 AM PST
by
An.American.Expatriate
(Here's my strategy on the War against Terrorism: We win, they lose. - with apologies to R.R.)
To: Tennessee Nana
Yeah. All joking aside, if they...you know....”them”...succeed in requiring proof of vaccination papers to travel, work, dine, shop, it’s going to be easy to persecute Christians that refuse the vax. We’ll be doing food collections for them.
10
posted on
12/21/2020 8:41:59 AM PST
by
gundog
( Hail to the Chief, bitches!)
To: Safrguns
Do you question the unlimited powers of a Democrat governor?? That's a felony right there for taking satire as truth.
11
posted on
12/21/2020 8:42:21 AM PST
by
BipolarBob
(Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you ammo. That's pretty much the same thing.)
To: An.American.Expatriate
12
posted on
12/21/2020 8:43:16 AM PST
by
BipolarBob
(Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you ammo. That's pretty much the same thing.)
To: An.American.Expatriate
Believe it or not, the Swiss Federal Government has actually outlawed singing due to Covid ...
But is Yodeling OK?
13
posted on
12/21/2020 8:45:21 AM PST
by
left that other site
(If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all. (Isaiah 7:9))
To: BipolarBob
"Furthermore, they are singing insurrectionist lyrics about some 'King' who has come to overthrow the earthly governments... Several county sheriffs have already said they will not enforce the law, causing Newsom to question whether they are agents of this coming King.A true Christmas message for our time...
14
posted on
12/21/2020 8:47:53 AM PST
by
GOPJ
(If China let go a virus that primarily killed gays, would Madison Ave. still up Chinese in TV ads? )
To: BipolarBob
Had to look to see if was The Bee.
Sigh.
15
posted on
12/21/2020 8:48:55 AM PST
by
mewzilla
(Break out the mustard seeds. )
To: Tennessee Nana
not far from the truth.... Ain't that for sure . . . .
16
posted on
12/21/2020 9:01:29 AM PST
by
Godzilla
( I just love the smell of COVFEFE in the morning . . . . )
To: SamAdams76
That’s the problem with satire today. Our democrats/socialists are just as absurd as the Babylon Bee.
17
posted on
12/21/2020 9:03:11 AM PST
by
Pollster1
("Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed")
To: BipolarBob
Well demanding figgie pudding or you won’t go, is bordering on extortion.
18
posted on
12/21/2020 9:07:14 AM PST
by
DannyTN
To: BipolarBob
19
posted on
12/21/2020 9:07:29 AM PST
by
Pajamajan
( PRAY FOR OUR NATION. I will never be a ppeaceful slave in a new] America.)
To: BipolarBob
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-31 next last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson
