Posted on 12/08/2020 4:42:13 AM PST by sodpoodle
Irish Pride An Irishman moves to the USA & finally attends his first baseball game. The first batter approached the batters' box, took a few swings and then hits a double.
Everyone was on their feet screaming "Run, Run".
The next batter hits a single & the Irishman listened as the crowd again cheered "RUN, RUN"!!
The Irishman enjoyed the game & began screaming with the fans. The fifth batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called "walk" and the batter started his slow trot to first base. The Irishman stood up and screamed, "R-R-Run ye lazy b*stard, run!" The people around him began laughing.
Embarrassed, the Irishman sat back down. A friendly fan noted the man's embarrassment, leaned over and explained "He can't run -- he's got four balls." The Irishman stood up and screamed, "Walk with pride, lad!"
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah...She's purty good lookin'....."
When you are over seventy who gives a sh*t
***********
Some asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."
When you are over seventy who gives a sh*t?
***********
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
When you are over seventy who gives a sh**t?
***********
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
When you are over seventy who gives a sh*t?
***********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you are over seventy who gives a sh*t?
***********
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Great legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
When you are over seventy who gives a sh*t?
LMAO !
Ping for later. good stuff
Great way to start the day.
An Irish joke without alcohol involved!.................
Hahahahahaha! Love it!
Good stuff
Good laughs to start Tuesday morning! Thanks!
Lol!
Roflmao
Thank you!
That is a classic.
LOL - Bump!
I had a bit too much to drink one night in my local tav and started to fondle the boobs of woman next to me
'BOMBAY! BOMBAY!!! COME IN BOMBAY!!!!" I shouted as I fondled them in a left and right motion.
"What The HELL do you think you are doing???!!!", she shrieked as she pulled away.
I replied: "Just trying to get India. BOMBAY! BOMBAY!!! COME IN......."
Never heard it...great!!!
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