Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Secret Service Puts Finishing Touches on Biden's Presidential Scooter
The Babylon Bee ^ | 12/03/20 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 12/03/2020 4:44:46 PM PST by Pining_4_TX

WASHINGTON, D.C.—As part of the transition to a new administration, the Secret Service is working hard to make the White House safe and secure for the incoming 78-year-old president. One of the most important pieces of hardware in the White House will be Biden's presidential scooter, affectionately dubbed "Chair Force One."

"This will be one of the most advanced pieces of geriatric technology the world has ever seen," said Secret Service Director James Murray. "With the ability to go from 0 to 3 miles per hour in 12 seconds, it will completely encase Mr. Biden in a shell of bulletproof glass as he sits in the back seat and a trained agent drives him around. It's also equipped with Life Alert technology and a handy basket for his daily meds."

Sources say the technological marvel of handicap design will also have built-in teleprompters to help Biden know what words he's supposed to say next during everyday conversation.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; chairforceone; health; humor; scooter
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-50 last
To: Pining_4_TX

I started reading the comments and saw BEE...LOL


41 posted on 12/03/2020 5:56:38 PM PST by Sacajaweau
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DannyTN

“How do you modify a scooter for an alzeimer’s patient?”

Not positive, but it probably involves a catheter.


42 posted on 12/03/2020 5:58:38 PM PST by MayflowerMadam ("Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free" Galatians 5:1)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Ciaphas Cain

Well, if Biden gets in, we’re going to need something to laugh about.


43 posted on 12/03/2020 6:05:54 PM PST by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith..)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: ETL

Wow! Just look at those... Vespas!!


44 posted on 12/03/2020 6:10:01 PM PST by Afterguard (Deplorable me! )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: Afterguard

They are great!


45 posted on 12/03/2020 6:12:15 PM PST by Eagles6
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: MayflowerMadam

Get the easy clean water proof seat.


46 posted on 12/03/2020 6:23:06 PM PST by DannyTN
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: kanawa

How about the Grope Mobile?


47 posted on 12/03/2020 6:24:28 PM PST by WonkyTonky (Lenin said that Socialism is the first step toward Communism)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: DannyTN

“How do you modify a scooter for an alzeimer’s patient?

It only goes in circles. :-)


48 posted on 12/03/2020 7:50:26 PM PST by Pining_4_TX (I'm old enough to remember when you actually had to be able to do something to be hired to do it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: WonkyTonky

👍


49 posted on 12/04/2020 7:26:43 AM PST by kanawa ((Trump Loves a Great Deal (NorthernSentinel)))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 47 | View Replies]

To: Pining_4_TX

This is hilarious


50 posted on 12/06/2020 2:09:33 AM PST by gattaca ("Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." Ronald Reagan)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-50 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson