Posted on 08/18/2020 1:48:52 PM PDT by CondoleezzaProtege
"The greatest and most challenging test for any man is to romance and pursue the same woman for a lifetime."
In my opinion, the best movie about Vietnam is We Were Soldiers starring Mel Gibson. He plays lieutenant colonel Hal Moore who commanded the first major battle of that war known as the Battle of Ia Drang. Surrounded and facing overwhelming odds, Moore and his soldiers withstood the onslaught for a week. One of the things Moore credits as a reason for the success was the love and devotion the soldiers had for one another. However, equally as important, was Moore’s consistent studying of the battlefield and knowledge of his enemy. He knew their strategies and the angles they would take to attack. This enabled him to position his forces in places that gave the greatest chance of victory.
In marriage, it is important to have love and devotion to one another. However, it is also equally important to know the temptations and pitfalls that attack marriage. One of the biggest enemies of marriage is infidelity. Knowing this enemy inside and out will help us remain faithful. Last week, we discussed why women cheat. Today we answer why men cheat.
Note: These are reasons, not justifications. Cheating is never justifiable under any circumstances.
Unfulfilled Emotional Needs
This seems to be the top reason. Most men who cheat consistently have expressed feeling disconnected from their wives. Men and women were both created for relationships. The need for emotional connection is innate in all of us, man or woman. However, physical affection and sex is an important way for men to feel emotionally connected with their wives. When that isn’t happening, it is easy for men to become withdrawn. When husbands emotionally drift from their wives, other connections will act like gravity.
Win Early: Work tirelessly to connect with your wife. When you feel yourself drifting, do whatever it takes to keep your feet secured in your marriage. Go out on dates, talk, find something new to experience together. Never stop, ever.
The Thrill, Insecurity, and Ego
”There are many men that simply love the excitement of the chase. The feeling of meeting a challenge and winning her over. It makes them feel powerful and attractive. This feeling is particularly enticing when a man feels neglected by his wife. A neglected man will feel rejected and insecure with a bruised ego. As a result, they go hunting to regain the sense of power and self-confidence they have lost.
Win Early: True power cannot be attained by the affirmation of others. The greatest and most challenging test for any man is to romance and pursue the same woman for a lifetime. Wake up every day and ask the question, “How can I win my wife today?”
Distraction
Being a husband and father is stressful. A man may love his wife, but there are now obligations to fulfill. The single life was carefree, but also lonely. They would rather not lose their wife but want a distraction from the pressure that comes with responsibility. They are looking for a quick return to the carefree days with the security of a spouse intact.
Win Early: Stay in the game. Stop the temptation the moment the thought enters your mind, rather than cradling it. When you find yourself looking for distractions, do the opposite. Embrace your responsibilities or you may lose them.
Sexual Addiction
There are women that have this problem, but mainly men. The exact cause is unknown but can involve both a chemical and/or psychological reason. These men consistently engage in sexual behavior (including viewing porn or participating in chat rooms) that brings negative outcomes. Despite the negative effects in their lives, they do not stop.
Win Early: Get treatment immediately. This can be overcome with medical treatment, psychological therapy, or support groups — perhaps all three.
Why do Women Cheat?
BJ sounds appropriately named. Does his boyfriend know he is writing about cheating?
Note: These are reasons, not justifications. …Note: These are actually excuses, not reasons. Something that is unjustifiable is also not reasonable, by definition.
Life gets complicated.
Seems a reasonable writeup for a secular perspective.
I would say it is because men are not striving to follow God enough in their lives.
If you really want to wreck a marriage, get a psych involved. WTF do you think invented Open Marriage? Who counsels that people seek sex outside of marriage as a “cure” for marriage problems? Psychs, that’s who.
Take SSRIs and go from disliking your spouse to killing your spouse. All in one easy prescription. Take your children out too.
Just don’t forget - it takes two.
Western women have become unbearable. There I said it.
That picture explains more than 100 books could provide! Lol!!
I realized a long time ago that I was lucky to have a wife that puts up with me.
It also helps that my wife, even in her 50’s, is still hot.
Facebook, for all it’s faults, has allowed me to see what the women I dated in high school and college look like today. I did really good.
2 different girl friends. 2 different reasons. y do u think i call myself by my name?
Certain men are naturally devoted and others are tempted to varying degrees, with opportunity often a factor, to cheat. In between are those who swing either way based on the strength of their relationship and attracrion.
No one answer for all.
Tingles, hypergamy leading to "monkey branching"; or alpha widowhood.
Or for vengeance (sometimes against "the one who got away") followed by frivorce for cash & prizes.
i love the menbad women good pieces
when men cheat men are bad
when women cheat men are bad
never cupcake’s fault, always the victim
men look
dont cheat
just admit its over and leave
Most marriages are wrecked by the time a shrink gets involved.
The Shrinks just ensure the nail in the coffin is hammered in well.
Was she cheating? Not in her view. She was "faithful" to me, because she never had any activity with another man. None at all. (Even with me, as it turned out.)
It turns out my ex preferred women. Strongly. She married me to keep her father in the dark about her sexual preferences. And, it turns out, from me once I got close to my father-in-law.
She successfully hid her torrid "girls nights out" for the entire marriage. I found out only after she left me.
What a fool I was.
I know a number of other guys who cheat. The reasons they give fall into these two basic categories:
1. Their wives let themselves go. This usually has to do with weight gain. Excessive weight gain.
2. Their wives cease to desire sex. In some cases this happens after the kids are born. In other cases, it happens in conjunction with menopause. In one case, the guys wife told him that she no longer found him attractive (likely due to his girth).
One thing seems to be almost universal: As women age and/or become more secure in the marriage (e.g., after they have their “anchor” children), their sexual drive generally decreases. I know of 1-2 exceptions to this, but those are the ones that prove the rule.
Men cheat to see a new reflection of themselves in another woman’s eyes. From movie The Women
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