I think some guys struggle with "pernicious pew pain", especially if the preacher is blessed with an inordinate amount of loquacious verbosity.
Posted on 08/03/2020 1:11:21 PM PDT by CondoleezzaProtege
Why Men Hate Going to Church, by David Murrow, explores the elements of American church life that discourage attendance and engagement of men.
His conclusion? Churches have shifted toward a style that is comfortable for the stereotypical woman—at the expense of the stereotypical man. And by men, Murrow is referring to masculine men: high achievers, alpha males, risk takers, visionaries...
Murrow points to four categories of church elements that clash with the temperament of most unchurched men.
1. Church makes men feel uncomfortable because it emphasizes feminine values
For example, sentimental songs that celebrate the intimacy of relationship with Jesus Christ bring a more feminine style of worship...
2. Church forces men to do things that they find uncomfortable
From asking men to sing in public, to sermons that are longer than the space between television commercials...
3. Men assume that church will require them to give up masculine traits
Murrow lists a number of men’s misconceptions about what they must give up to become part of a church. They assume church will make them “dorky” and “nerdy”—the equivalent of the evangelical Christian Ned Flanders from the Simpsons cartoon.
4. Church does not present a compelling model of leadership
One assumption that underlies much of Murrow’s thinking on leadership is that “If men are to return to Christ, they need strong, godly laymen to help them in their walk . . . For too long we have asked men to follow our teaching, our methods, and our theology. Men do not follow these things. I’ll say it again: men follow men.” It is difficult to argue with the premise that visionary leaders are the source of much change in this world. As a result, Murrow castigates the church for its inability to inspire men to greatness.
(Excerpt) Read more at 9marks.org ...
Church is for women; religion is for men.
I’ve seen some of this in my own church.
Everyone is supposed to be a counselor. Everyone is expected to have emotional reactions to parts of the service.
Some of us don’t really fit the “counselor” milieu. I don’t feel comfortable with it. Not usually.
I’m not a fan of what most of this thing says, but I think number 1 is spot on.
I can name plenty of churches where the Gospel is preached in a manly manner.
Yeah, not a fan of Praise music, or even modern “hymns” as put out by Keith and Krystin Getty, and many others.
Give me an old fashioned hymn anyday.
Long sermons, haha. In the olden days sermons were 3 hours!
Of course, there are roles & jobs husband & fathers do to hold on to those roles: i e love their wives as a Christ loves His church; recognize their wives also have roles and to consider them as the “weaker sex (physically, etc.) who need the assistance of the man of the house!
I am assuming this guy probably is or has attended mainline Protestant churches, which are bastions of feminism, maybe even with a woman as its leader. I’m not calling the female leader, if there is one, is not a pastor nor minister because Christ chose no women as shepherds of His flocks!.
All that changed when I became an adult. I married a Catholic girl and went to her church with her for a while, but a lot about the church turned me off. There was a ritual in the 1980s that Catholics put in place (sign of peace?) that involved you holding or shaking hands of everybody around you during a prayer or hymn which just did not sit well with me. I kind of faded from the church scene after that. Doesn't make me any less of a Christian however.
Humbling oneself before the Sovereign Lord of the Universe is not manly?
Who wrote this garbage?
The feminization of too many American churches has everything to do with it.
Starting with, of course, the unbiblical practice of women pastors and ministers.
“let the women keep silent in the churches” I Cor. 14:34
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It’s not only women pastors and ministers. There is also the perception that (1) many churches have become havens for all sorts of degenerates, and (2) many are busy working in concert with organizations that are hostile to Biblical teaching and to American values. That is especially true of the RCC.
Depends on what you mean by “volunteer”. Too many churches develop too many programs that will have too few people or resources to run them well. Some of those churches should scale back to their core functions.
Many men feel crowded out when a certain coiterie of folks, men or women are multiple volunteering for the same posts or tasks. The same ones who run the fellowship committee are also running the visitation program and despite the call for volunteers, new volunteers actually end up being politely discouraged by the aforementioned coiterie of the sanctified holy ones.
Then there is the phenomena of when a man does volunteer he may be henpecked by those who say ‘do it this way, do it that way’ to the point that he just throws up his hands and walks away.
False accusers are a problem; too many men may find themselves prey to a false accusation of sexual harrassment or forced sexual act or rape.
When the Episcopal Church went gay/lesbo I left and I never looked back.
Depends on what you mean by “volunteer”. Too many churches develop too many programs that will have too few people or resources to run them well. Some of those churches should scale back to their core functions.
Many men feel crowded out when a certain coiterie of folks, men or women are multiple volunteering for the same posts or tasks. The same ones who run the fellowship committee are also running the visitation program and despite the call for volunteers, new volunteers actually end up being politely discouraged by the aforementioned coiterie of the sanctified holy ones.
Then there is the phenomena of when a man does volunteer he may be henpecked by those who say ‘do it this way, do it that way’ to the point that he just throws up his hands and walks away.
False accusers are a problem; too many men may find themselves prey to a false accusation of sexual harrassment or forced sexual act or rape.
Here are the lyrics from the chorus of one of my favorite John Prine songs. I must confess that I don't eat many peaches, but I'm pretty good on the rest.
Blow up your TV, throw away your paper
Go to the country, build you a home
Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches
Try and find Jesus on your own
The author is correct about the songs. I can’t stand the “Jesus is my new boyfriend “ genre. Puke. Church is created for women and they drag the men along. Lots of sharing and caring.
About 20 years ago at a UMC church we started singing Onward Christian Soldiers except it wasn’t Onward Christian Soldiers. It was some sort of PC lyric that bore no resemblance to the original. An elderly woman next to me was belting out the original lyric until she noticed everybody else was singing something different. She looks at her hymnal with a puzzled frown and then starts weakly following the new lyric.
That was it for me.
Well said, Metmom. You get it.
Not all of them are like that.
"When the glory dawns—’tis drawing very near,
It is hastening day by day—
Then before our king the foe shall disappear,
And the cross the world shall sway!"
--The Banner of the Cross
"Hold the fort, for I am coming,
Jesus signals, still.
Wave the answer back to heaven,
'By thy grace, we will!"
--Hold the Fort
"I have read a fiery Gospel
Writ in burnished rows of steel;
As ye deal with My contemners,
So with you My grace shall deal;
Let the Hero, born of woman,
Crush the serpent with His heel,
Since God is marching on."
--The Battle Hymn of the Republic
"The fight is on, the trumpet sound is ringing out,
The cry To arms! is heard afar and near;"
--The Fight Is On
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