Posted on 05/08/2020 7:51:54 PM PDT by BipolarBob
MEDINA, WA—The effort to find a vaccine for the coronavirus reached a milestone today after philanthropist Bill Gates unveiled his brand new “Coronavirus Cure v 2.1.13” to the world. It’s now being tested on human beings for the very first time. The first test subject, Ryan Flenderson, is now protected from the coronavirus for all eternity thanks to science and the philanthropic genius Bill Gates.
There is one small side-effect being reported—though experts insist it’s nothing to be concerned about. Within a few hours of receiving the new vaccine from Bill Gates, Ryan began loudly singing the praises of Microsoft’s new Internet Explorer. “Have you seen this browser!?? So beautiful! So elegant! Fast! Secure! It’s everything I’ve ever wanted in an internet browser!” he said with a glazed look in his eyes.
Mr. Flenderson’s friends claim Ryan has been an avid Apple fanboy for years. “We want the old Ryan back,” one friend said. “This just isn’t like him. It’s totally weird.”
A quick Bing search has revealed that this side effect is not dangerous or harmful to people in any way. When told about Microsoft’s amazing search engine called Bing, Ryan fainted with joy.
Experts are predicting billions of compulsory Bill Gates vaccines will be available for an eager public by the year 2047. Until then, shelter-in-place orders will remain in effect.
For further updates, check Bing.
blue screen of death on your computer is bad enough
blue screen of death from his vaccine, they can’t roll that back
Ryan Flenderson has been assimilated. The vaccine was really Borg nanoprobes.
Damn, this stuff is more toxic than we feared!
A Mind-Altering vaccine with Mind-Blowing potential
Fine-tune the formula and we can replace FORTRAN
(maybe)
Test subject Ryan Flenderson has died today, from complications related to an experimental vaccine he was a test subject of.
He seemed healthy until he suddenly froze up in mid-sentence and turned an intense color of blue. He then let out of series of blood-curdling screams and expired. Attempts to revive him were unsuccessful.
Health experts are baffled at the rash of gruesome fatalities, nicknamed "the blue scream of death"...
That might be uncomfortably close to the truth about what might be in a mandatory vaccine.
Bookmarked!
They’ll know the vaccine is really working when he starts praising DOS and Microsoft BOB.
Amen. His father was an eugenicist, as is he. Gate’s penchant for mandatory vaccination and biomarker, I refuse to take any drug I can trace back to him or his flying monkeys.
Now what would be REALLY weird, is if he thought Windows Ten is the greatest.
Loves Windows 10!
‘Flendersen’ !
Microsoft and Virus, yes I believe!
We will mourn his passing due to complications of BSOD and being infected with CCP-19....
Booster shots of the vaccine may kill you.
The headline made me laugh.
“The biggest problem is that about once every week or two you need to completely shut down your body to install the latest version of the vaccine even if you were doing something important.”
Sometimes you wake up and forget everything you ever knew and have absolutely no memory of anything you ever did before. That’s what my laptop did yesterday.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.