U.S. Reports Largest One-Day Increase In Cases Of Trump Derangement Syndrome

U.S.—America suffered its highest one-day increase in cases of Trump Derangement Syndrome yesterday, adding 317,259 new cases. This brought the number of U.S. cases to roughly 59 million, while worldwide cases of the deadly disease increased to 110 million.

The peak in cases was brought on by President Trump’s growing urgency to reopen the economy and allow people to go back to work. Scholars have noted that this is equivalent to slavery.

With the sharp increase in Trump Derangement Syndrome, U.S. officials see no real timeline for reopening the minds of Democrats nationwide. “We can’t take any chances here,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said. “It could take months. It could take years. What we may see is the gradual reopening of Democrat minds on a state-by-state basis.”

While some statistics have suggested a plateau in cases of Trump Derangement Syndrome, other sources suggest the increase in cases has just begun.

“Our models have been quite accurate from day one,” claimed Ron Whitley of the University of Washington. “And we don’t see a peak here. Our data suggests a slow increase in cases through the summer, and then a big peak in cases about November 4 or so.”

love it, maybe we need a shut down of MSM and Democratic party

I adore the Babylon Bee!

There is real talent there, because good satire is hard to do today.

3 posted on 04/21/2020 8:07:52 PM PDT by rlmorel (The Coronavirus itself will not burn down humanity. But we may burn ourselves down to be rid of it.)

The Babylon Bee predicts the future:

Note the dates.

If you haven’t seen it, I think you’ll like my previous.

“Political satire died when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.” — Tom Lehrer

The Babylon Bee has been pumping life back into political satire for years, but I think even they have realized that it has become indistinguishable from reality.

6 posted on 04/21/2020 8:12:37 PM PDT by dayglored ("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government."`)

Is Stage 4 TDS considered an underlying morbidity?

7 posted on 04/21/2020 8:19:53 PM PDT by ASA Vet (Make American Intelligence Great Again.)

"What we may see is the gradual reopening of Democrat minds on a state-by-state basis. With the exception of Massachusetts, of course, which has had closed minds since 1870 and reopening is not expected to ever happen."

Claude Rains is extremely busy these days...

9 posted on 04/21/2020 8:56:29 PM PDT by Hoosier-Daddy ("Washington, DC. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious")

10 posted on 04/21/2020 8:57:11 PM PDT by Hoosier-Daddy ("Washington, DC. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious")

11 posted on 04/21/2020 9:06:13 PM PDT by Ymani Cricket (Pressure makes diamonds - General Patton)

To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; cardinal4; ColdOne; ...

(Babylon Bee)

12 posted on 04/21/2020 9:56:48 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.)

Eh, Babylon Bee is a piker. They can’t even come close to the fake news put out by CNN, MSNBC, CBS, NBC, ABC, LAT, NYT, WAPO...the list goes on and on. They’ve got a ways to go.

14 posted on 04/22/2020 9:58:42 AM PDT by Forgiven_Sinner (Seek you first the kingdom of God, and all things will be given to you.)

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