😂
Posted on 04/07/2020 6:11:42 PM PDT by 1FreeAmerican
Be careful because people are going crazy from being in lock down! Actually I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and we all agreed that things are getting bad. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. In the end the iron straightened me out as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing. The vacuum was very unsympathetic... told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything but the door knob told me to get a grip.😬 The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to ........yes, you guessed it 😝.....pull myself together
Clever! But you may want to think twice about your relationship with the microwave. . .it isn’t your best interest.
Larry the Cable Guy said in a video I saw yesterday that he thinks Doctors push the more expensive and needless surgeries. “I figured that out after I had a hysterectomy”.
😂
My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house. I said decepticons. She laughed. I laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster.
When I woke up this morning, things were lookin’ bad
Seem like total silence was the only friend I had
Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down... and won
And it was twelve o’clock before I realized
That I was havin’ no fun
But fortunately I have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don’t cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone
No I’m just tryin’ to have me some fun
-John Prine
Submit a FOIA and ask how many pregnant males are on Medicaid.
We are 14 days into self isolation and it’s really upsetting me to see my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks. It breaks my heart to see her like this. I have thought very hard how i can cheer her up. I have even considered letting her in... but rules are rules.
my electric scooters told me to just ride it out
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OK - the best post of the day! LOLOL!
that is hilarious! thumbs up.
“....relationship with the microwave...”
In my day it used to be the blender or the vacuum. Times change.
rwood
That was frikkin’ funny. Lived in Stow Ohio and caught many of the fun references to Ohio, including the orange barrels. The joke is “what is the state bird of Ohio? —the Orange Crested Road Squatter.”
Best —keep laughing! Pat
An activity for homebound: Call random numbers in India and tell them their car warranty is about to expire.
My sister got it in an email but it is funny!
Lol! Thanks!
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