😂Clever! But you may want to think twice about your relationship with the microwave. . .it isn’t your best interest.
Larry the Cable Guy said in a video I saw yesterday that he thinks Doctors push the more expensive and needless surgeries. “I figured that out after I had a hysterectomy”.
😂My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house. I said decepticons. She laughed. I laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster.
When I woke up this morning, things were lookin’ bad
Seem like total silence was the only friend I had
Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down... and won
And it was twelve o’clock before I realized
That I was havin’ no fun
But fortunately I have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don’t cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone
No I’m just tryin’ to have me some fun
-John Prine
We are 14 days into self isolation and it’s really upsetting me to see my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks. It breaks my heart to see her like this. I have thought very hard how i can cheer her up. I have even considered letting her in... but rules are rules.
my electric scooters told me to just ride it out
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An activity for homebound: Call random numbers in India and tell them their car warranty is about to expire.
Lol! Thanks!
we thought that by 2020 people would be traveling around the US in flying cars- but nope- we’re still stuck teaching people how to wash their hands