Posted on 04/02/2020 7:33:44 PM PDT by xp38
ALBANY, NY—New York state has announced a new plan to raise taxes on the novel coronavirus. The 15% income tax on all COVID-19 viruses, coupled with an 8% luxury disease tax, is expected to generate significant revenue and stop the virus in its tracks.
The plan is designed to cause the virus to flee the state to a lower-tax, more virus-friendly area.
"We thought about all the different ways to solve problems that we know of, and we just returned to the tried-and-true method: taxing something until it runs away," said Governor Andrew Cuomo. "This new legislation will cause the virus to run away and go to those dumb, backward Southern states not smart enough to have a special coronavirus tax."
"This oughtta do it."
The plan seemed to work almost immediately, with coronaviruses packing up their bags, renting U-Hauls, and moving to better states like Texas. Texas has unveiled its own plan to stop the bug, however, shooting the virus with fully automatic weapons on sight.
Very funny!
If you don’t like the taxes covid old buddy, move out!
LOL...”Texas has unveiled its own plan to stop the bug, however, shooting the virus with fully automatic weapons on sight.”
New York could also deploy its other really deadly weapon. It could impose massive amounts of choking regulation on the virus in addition to piling tax after tax on it.
So Virus, did you obtain a permit to infect that person? No? Well....that requires a permission slip from this government office and a stamp from that one. Don’t forget the associated fees. Fill out your 57 page application in triplicate and New York will inform you when your permit is approved.
The only way Cuomo can think of.
The Bee’s satire gets extremely close to the truth.
LOL!!!!!
Oh and be sure to dot those i-s and cross those t-s . Thanks for your business.
Taxing new York Coronavirus would cause it to exodus to Florida. de Santos might disagree.
BRILLIANT!
Just ban it or rename it that is what Democrats are good at.
And the virus must follow a strict regime of infecting only proportional numbers for gender, race, religion, and immigration status.
Andrew Cuomo’s daddy used this strategy very effectively by coupling it with insane over-regulation. This two-pronged attack drove manufacturing out of NYS along with most of the state’s middle class.
LMAO
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